"Welcome to paradise, ladies and gentlemen. Since you will be spending an infinite amount of time here, we must advise you not to get into any bad habits for the duration of your stay here, such as smoking, taking really long showers or engaging in conversation with each other, since if you will start smoking, you will smoke an infinite number of cigarettes, which is very bad for your health; if you start taking really long showers we sooner or later run out of hot water and by starting conversations with each other you will be sure to run out of subjects in a couple of hundred thousand years, and you will be spending a hell of a lot longer time than that here. We wouldn't want to run into the situation of being subject to an infinite number of similar discussions.
Oh, and please don't start collecting the little Christ statuettes, since we don't have an infinte amount of them, and I'm sure our somewhat limited library of the old world's collected literature will keep you occupied for a couple of thousand years.
Thanks, The Management"