The beast in my life

There is a little beast in my life named ebony; six years old and a little rickety; she swims through my days, sometimes playful, most times asleep. Her little kisses make for soft and tender smiles. All black with graying muzzle, one hundred pounds of tiny Dane trotting by my side, or running through the fens. With tail tucked between her legs she rides the shaky T and moves excitedly through the halls of work at night. Can we go? Can we see? What’s this? Chinese? She comes with me on the weekends. She comes with me on the nights. She calls me home at the end of the day. No drinks for me… I have to go take care of my child. Her days she spends sleeping in bed with one cat or two, wishing for one of her people by her side. If only my office had a door she could spend her time sleeping on my floor.

Ebony is my beast, my child, and my friend.

Oooo baby, baby it’s a wild world.

I know this so I am scarred. I know that the world is like a maze that can unleash a beast at any moment I have encountered these beasts, Death, Betrayal and Love. These three are the ones that tear my heart open every time I think of them.

At the age of 8 my first beast introduced itself to me. Death stole something from me. That was the first time a beast touched my life. She was the color of black and she was huge and hungry. She didn’t always play by the rules, and when she didn’t it left a wave of sadness, tears and heartbreak.

Tears. What are they? They are the beast’s sidekicks. They are each different, and the beasts implant a never ending stream of them inside you, some of them are calm, others try with all their might to break free from you. Once they leave your body they are set free. There are 3 types of tears, ones that jerk you whole soul, some are silent, and others are noisy wretched beings.

Deaths tears are hot and black; they sting like bees flying from your soul. They jerked my soul and scarred me for the first time.

Betrayal snuck up on me, I never saw him creeping towards me, he was so sneaky and small, it seemed I was tricked for a long time, I was wearing lenses that would stop me from seeing him, everyone else saw it coming though. He was blue and looked just like glass. Like a mirror, that made the gazer feel beautiful, till it smashed.

The tears of betrayal were like tiny blue flowers that floated with the wind, they look soft to touch but then they would explode and each one would scream a terrifying long howl.

Betrayal casts a misty glaze across the betrayed ones eyes, they look like they have a coat of hard armor, but their shield cracks all too easily, and released become the flowers of betrayal.

Love hit me with a blow like I’d never imagined. He walks around in disguise with a sledgehammer in his pocket. He is the most confusing of them all, he is the only one with a weapon yet, he is the most gentle with good intentions.

His magic sledgehammer has spikes, which inject a bit of crazy into the victim. His tears and his crazies, change the person Loves tears fall like red snow and hold onto one side of your heart, but his crazies, like bright green bombs ready to explode at any second, crawl through you veins and attach onto the other side.

They are the most spoilt, and impatient things in the world. When things don’t go their way, they try to run away, pulling your heart in that direction.

The tears are silent, patient and smart. They flow in silent streams of agony, sometimes of joy. When the crazies and the tears mix, the crazies explode, and the tears break down the victim in loud screams that sometimes lead to Death or Betrayal.

All three beasts are in some ways linked, though they hate each other. There is a fine line between Life and Death. Nothing accompanies Betrayal better than Love and hate. Death hits the hardest when linked with Love and Betrayal. Hate is what drives them all into the frenzy that we like to call life.