Those who would be thinner, repeat after me:


Oh chocolate, which art in boxes,
Temptation be thy name.
Though cravings come, my will be strong, at home as it is in cafes.
Give me this day my daily carrot, and forgive me my abstinence,
As I forgive those who scoff in front of me.
Lead me not into confectioners, and deliver me from bakeries,
For sweet are the pastries, the cookies and the toffee,
Forever denied me,

At this point, the congregation will break down in heart-rending sobs.

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