The Unchanged Diplomatist
from Fantastic Fables
by Ambrose Bierce
THE republic of Madagonia had been long and well represented at the court of the King of Patagascar by an officer called a Dazie, but
one day the Madagonian Parliament conferred upon him the superior rank of Dandee. The next day after being apprised of his new dignity he hastened to inform the King of Patagascar.
"Ah, yes, I understand," said the King; "you have been promoted and given increased pay and allowances. There was an appropriation?"
"Yes, your Majesty."
"And you have now two heads, have you not?"
"Oh, no, your Majesty - only one, I assure you."
"Indeed? And how many legs and arms?"
"Two of each, Sire - only two of each."
"And only one body?"
"Just a single body, as you perceive."
Thoughtfully removing his crown and scratching the royal head, the monarch was silent a moment, and then he said:
"I fancy that appropriation has been misapplied. You seem to be about the same kind of idiot that you were before."