Sitting around chatting with some friends the other day, sharing funny stories and the like, the following tale came out. I assume it's true...
The ordinary young lawyer
rides the train
home from work to his little apartment
. He stands holding the bar and notices an elderly woman
sitting next to him staring at his free hand. He glances down at it and is shocked to see that most of his palm
is a light brown and yellowish color
. He begins to rub at the colored area of his hand, lightly at first, then with increasing vigor
. The color will not go away. He racks his brain
trying to remember if he has touched anything that could have left this type of stain
and can think of nothing.
Very concerned now, and still rubbing absently
at his discolored hand, he exits the train and heads across the street to his place. Upon entering he rushes immediately to the bathroom and begins scrubbing his hand. This does not help. He begins to feel dirty all over and climbs into the shower. His concern with the colored hand
bothers him more and more. As he stands in the shower soaping his hand over and over, his gaze happens upon his penis
. He is startled to note that his penis has the same brownish-yellow hue as his hand. His concern escalates to near panic. He fervently washes his penis in a vain attempt to get rid of the color. He believes that he has contracted
some sort of venereal disease
. After several more minutes of futile cleansing
, he gets out of the shower.
As he dries off, he notices the bottle of hand lotion sitting on the sink. It belongs to his roommate. It is not actually hand lotion. It is tanning lotion. It is the kind that doesn't require you to lay in the sun. He remembers now, using the lotion on himself
the previous day...