The tenth spoon
My sister says
I do not understand chronic illness
and sends an essay about the ten teaspoons of energy
an ill person has each day
and if they spend too much
They will pay it back for days
She is right
I do not understand
We all have limits on our energy
I might have ladles some days
and teaspoons others
or overdo and get sick
or fail an obligation
a commitment that I meant to do
I have ten spoons
To measure out each day
To portion
One for my partner
One for each child: I have two
One to wash and dress myself and get myself to work
Two for work, some days
Though it depends if you define work
as poems or making money
One for the things I do not want to do: bills,
vacuum, sort a box, mail, the dentist, change
a car's oil, dry clean
One for the house, the yard, food, eating, laundry
One for the work of the soul, poems, church,
my thoughts, my search, my feelings pass through
And where is exercise?
Does that fall under work?
Music, hobbies, family, friends,
a wedding, travel, language, books
And have you counted?
Nine spoons
The tenth spoon is the special spoon
Small demitasse spoon
Gold bowl and silver handle
An asymmetric flower pattern that my mother loves
Sterling, inherited
My sister and I know that the silver is special
My mother is proud even when we are poor
It is from her grandmother
The demitasse spoons are small like us
We name them special spoons, my sister and I
We ask for special spoons to eat our ice cream
The tenth spoon is the special spoon
every day
The tenth spoon is love
7/25/11