The School Stoppers
1 Textbook is a chapter from the
Youth International Party's
How to Revolt handbook. Written by anonymous
Yippies, the SSTB is a list of "
disruptive revolutionary tactics" that can be used to subvert, disturb, and manipulate the
public education system.
Originally published in the late 1960's, the SSTB was converted into a text file in the 1980's and was widely distributed on BBSes for quite some time. The web is crammed with many modified versions of the SSTB, with a given copy having anywhere from 50 to 100 items. Most copies seen today, however, will have 81 items on them; presumably, this was the most widely circulated version on BBSes. The original SSTB also had a brief introduction from the YIP at the beginning, which some transcribers have modified or removed altogether. Vintage copies from the 1980's will often have phone numbers to long-extinct BBSes located somewhere in the document. Sometimes, the name of the transcriber(s) will also be present2.
The suggestions in the SSTB range from redundant pranks to downright criminal acts. #46's suggestion to "ride a bicycle down a busy hall" seems like filler, while #35's instructions on how to effectively burn down a school are so detailed that the author surely had some experience in arson. Many of the ideas on the list are of questionable effectiveness and some haven't aged very well, but the School Stoppers Textbook still makes for a very entertaining (if not educational) read.
A few of the better ideas from the SSTB:
- Have a student lie on the ground. When a teacher comes scream 'he jumped' and point to the roof or third floor window. Mumble 'Fred dared him' or 'Maybe it was LSD.'
- Set up a fake school and hire away the lousy teachers -- or put up notices inviting the entire school to a going away party for a teacher who isn't really leaving.
- Pick up some dog training liquid at any pet store -- it smells like concentrated piss. And if you can't figure out what to do with that then you shouldn't be reading this.
- Write a 'consumer report' on the 'education' you've been consuming. Distribute it to parents at school functions and post it on hallway bulletin boards.
- Get hold of a film to be shown at a school assembly and splice in parts of another movie of your own choosing before the assembly. A little imagination on your part will make for an unforgettable day.
- Protest U.S. aid to reactionary regimes abroad by defoliating plants around the school or by digging a bomb crater on the front lawn. When the ecology freaks complain ask them where they were when the U.S. was doing the same thing to Indochina.
- Get a small group to always carry screwdrivers and slowly dismantle the school.
1Differs from copy to copy. Variants include Stoppers, Stoppers', and Stopper's.
2A vintage 81-item copy of the School Stopper's Textbook, complete with the names of its transcribers, numbers to several BBSes, and the YIP introduction is available at http://www.piracy.com/filez/school.txt