Of the
Eleven Major Owls , the
Owl of
Ice Cream is considered the most "approachable", far more so even than
the Owl of Grommets and
the Owl of Tang. On days of greater than average
solar flare activity, when most citizens and other entities -- those who retain their will -- remain in
cool tombs underground or travel the surface only in
ponderous and cumbersome suits of lead (see
illustration),
gangs of laughing children will run through the corridors below the mountain. They emerge in the vast forests of the northern slope, where the ancient and towering leadwoods, hundreds of
meters high, afford protection on the surface. An hour's pleasant walk through the woods brings them to the
Indurate Crag, where the
Owl of
Ice Cream spends his days in a trance. On being shaken briskly, the
Owl will awaken and distribute treats to the children. He will summarily devour every five-hundredth child, but children are plentiful and the Owl has a way of laughing the whole thing off when it happens. He receives few complaints.
Lest future generations wonder what I was on, Gorgonzola did a typo in the chatterbox about "putting a bowl of ice cream in front of a four-year-old", but he missed the 'b'. Hilarity ensues, blah blah blah.