Findings:
- Don't kill your invisible husband to see what he looks like or you'll sob your heart out. But don't worry about the millions of invisible men coming to attack your village because they won't kill you if you don't know how to fight them.
- You, standing
- The ones with their priorities straight don't know how to get what they want, and the ones who get what they want have messed up priorities.
- I still can't think of anything, or how Fight Club changed my life
- What do girls think about guys when they catch guys staring at their breasts, but the guy is actually trying to read her shirt?
- Stand up for yourself, OR: How I got the shit kicked out of me
- How to Good-Bye Depression: If You Constrict Anus 100 Times Everyday. Malarkey? or Effective Way?
- when you're done, you can let her die if that's what you want. Or you can wake her.
- Dr. Strangelove, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
- How to recover a lost Linux root or Windows 2000 Administrator password
- Megalania (or how I learned to stop worrying and love the lizard)
- Rocks Do Not Belong in the Road, or: How to Launch a Mazda Protege Into the Air
- Gaily they went down in the lush field a treasure of valuables or specie or bullion lodged with a crust of bread into her coat of arms weaving currying the embroidering of silk in summer.
- They think it's all over
- The problem with people who think life is inexpressibly beautiful is that they so often try to express it anyway
- The Mobility Divide: or why I want you to give me $20,000 in the 21st century
- How Eulenspiegel announced he wanted to fly
- The UK's farmers, or How to reap a profit without worrying about pesky scruples
- How to get (or keep) a guy's attention at a bar
- The use of 'use,' or, how to use 'use'
- Lost love - or how I grew to love the truck stop
- How They Drank at the Forbidden Fountain
- Is there any part of you that really wants this? Or is the pursuit like breathing to you?
- cat haters
- I want to be a whale when I grow up. Or a squid.
- Live Era '87-'93
- If you want somebody's heart, catch it when they pour it out
- I do not think that they will sing to me.
- "It gets better" or so they say.
- SunOS, Solaris and how they relate
- New And Improved Illustrated Bartender's Manual or How to Mix Drinks of the Present Style
- How to MP3 a tape, LP or the radio
- how do they feel, those unblinking eyes?
- How to determine whether a number is even or odd in any base
- How I insulted a Mormon, or reason #78345 I'm an Idiot
- How many different species live on or in the average human body?
- Collapse: How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
- How do you take your dreams? Shattered, scattered, covered, or raw?
- When you want me and how you want me
- Getting your Christmas cards out at the last possible moment
- How to scare the Hell out of a Lexus driver, or: Don't take sharp corners at 50mph in the rain
- I have no proof that he would ever want to kiss or destroy me.
- No one wants to be a nihilist
- Spider-Man: Wanted: Dead or Alive
- We must remember them or they cease to be.
- I want to lose myself in the words or the words of someone else
- The Five Little Peppers and How They Grew
- They Don't Want Me
- Kids that age think they know it all
- They want me for a focus group!
- What people talk about when they can't think of anything to talk about
- 90% of people think they are of above average intelligence
- Dental surgery, or, how I learned to appreciate anesthesia
- Want to be shot in the US or beaten in the UK?
- The male libido - or - How I was castrated by the 90's
- How do you pronounce a 3? Or a 0?
- The Tornado, or, how we almost all got killed.
- How to share your Cable Modem or DSL connection between two computers
- How to tell if you are stoned or not
- Automobile tire pressure
- How to determine if an egg is hard-boiled or uncooked
- How do cows get all their nutrients, when they only eat grass?
- Getting what you want from tech support
- edev: Writeuptype bugs, or how nate got stuck between two parentheses
- How to get tree sap or pitch off your hands
- How to entertain unwashed masses on little or no money
- How to entertain young children on little or no money
- DJuxtaposition vs. Gamestop : Or how I learned to let go of the PS2 and start loving the DC
- How long do you think I'll let you keep me here?
- How to serve a cheese plate - or, how I came to love curds and eschew fashion
- How to be strong for her, when all you want is to depend on her
- How do you know a girl wants to smooch?
- The economy has hit everyone hard. Well, everyone who hasn't lost track of how many houses they own, anyhow.
- A Springfest Housewarming Nodermeet: Or How I braved the wilds of Sydney's outskirts
- socketes matures during 4 14 years. - reflections upon an obscure Dadaist genius in our midst; or, how I learned to stop worrying and love the troll.
- Have you ever wondered how many gears a car can have? Or: My experiences with an East German vehicle
- Fuckin' magnets, how do they work?
- Metal Inert Ass Welding, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the F-Bomb
- How They Brought the Good News from Ghent to Aix
- How would you like it if they took your subculture and made it a theme night?
- Café or coffee shop? How the game is changing.
- To women, to hide their teeth, if they be rotten or rusty
- In Defense of Minor Attracted People or I Think it's Genocide
- Stand back from the doors or they might kill you
- do you want to understand? or do you want to be right?
- I'm beginning to think that nothing I think or say makes sense to anyone but me
- What do girls think about guys who think about what other people think about girls and what they do?
- What would aliens think of us if Everything was all they had?
- Race-mixing will happen whether or not you want it
- Or were they chords of sun?
- People want what they cannot have
- They think I'm a god
- What would aliens think if they talked to an average western human being?
- Drivers who think they are Neo
- I want them to go out as unseen as they came
- Thinking you know more about computers than the tech you just called
- I want the stars so bright they make me breathless
- Because, you think, Maybe They Are Delicious.
- For anybody who thinks they need to see a psychiatrist
- Don't trust Elves; they may want to be your friends
- Let's hear that string part again, because I don't think they heard it
- Are your pets as loyal as you think they are?
- Anonymous Men Think They Can Talk To Me
- How did you get everyone to think that you were depressed?
- Screaming Bullet of Compact Imported Death, or: How I Found Out My Mazda Protege Could Go 130mph
- How to disable or translate caps lock in Microsoft Windows 2000
- Chipirones en su tinta
- Overcoming arachnophobia, or how I learned to love the spiders with HUMAN HEADS!
- How to tell when your dog just wants to be friends
- How they Matched the Fuddles
- DPI, resolution, physical printing size - how they interrelate
- How They Encountered the Flutterbudgets
- Strange man makes permanent visit
- The Thanksgiving Curse, or, how we keep almost getting killed.
- How They Came to Bunbury
- Weather-related clichés (or how to start a conversation with a stranger)
- How to tell when a guy just wants to be friends
- How to do an overbar or overline in Microsoft Word
- How To Think About God
- Aristotle's Lost Library, Medieval Andalusia & Chinese Paper, or How Europe Learned to Learn Again and Why the Renaissance Happened When & Where It Did
- Dr. Bloodmoney or How We Got Along After the Bomb
- You can learn a lot about a person by how they act at an Airport
- seedless grapes
- How I got over my homophobia or the reasons that I blame my grades on a gay man
- Keeping beer cold in the Old West
- How a farmer wanted to take plums to market
- The four problems of surgery, how they were overcome, and when
- They do not know how immortal, but I know
- How to get rid of spiders before they get rid of YOU
- The New Face of the BSOD: An Adventure in Password Recovery
- How to herd people in public
- M.A.S.H.: how to play and why you'd want to
- Show your work, or, how my math abilities started to decline
- How to tell a girl just wants to be friends
- Becoming an idiot, or, How I learned to stop worrying and love my siblings
- Wholesome Bible goodness in every mint
- How to get Apache to tell your visitors when files have moved or been deleted
- 206
- An American in Tours
- Japanese origami legends and how they changed my life
- I wanted to see how many times he wouldn't ask.
- A Mathematical Adventure, or, How I Spent an Afternoon Proving Nothing
- How to Build a House or Destroy a Home
- Kosher curry, or how I missed the blindingly obvious
- A short Blitz on Stepney in the Winter or How the East End welcomes Heisenberg with perky Bosons
- How do you know a dog wants to smooch?
- How to replicate a dynamic website quickly without the source code or database
- Getting what you want from disgruntled lab techs
- How Could You Want Him (When You Know You Could Have Me)?
- sometimes when i think about how big space is i get scared
- How can a man stand when they cut off his feet?
- How Do You Want Me?
- Belief, or How I Became an Honorary Jew
- A day in the life of an Alzheimer's wife or how it all started with a missing spatula
- How Not to Write a Novel; or, How to Not Write a Novel
- "What *should* we be worried about?"; or how too many cooks make a statistically average soup
- not what words are used, but how they are used
- This is how it appears on Wikipedia and they tend to be somewhat anal about grammar, so I'm trusting this is correct
- Can I tell you how much I want to smoke you, like this cigarette?
- How They Broke Away to Go to the Rootabaga Country
- Tell me how you want to die, and I'll tell you who you are
- They are in love with each other, or the city
- “I want to make the milk,” or, More Tales from Youth
- If the wibbly thing is part of your anatomy, I guarantee you don't want the cat batting at it or licking it.
- Wanted Dead or Alive
- how far do you want to go?
- If they do not give you work or bread, then take bread
- or maybe a calm voice, that accent you don't think you have
- Beautiful Times (Or: How I Embraced the Escapist Mindset and Tuned in to My Imagination)
- i've heard that's how they did it in ancient egypt
- You pass a thousand heroes on the street every day and never know how well they are carrying their burdens
- Shaving your nuts without permanent injury and/or accidental castration
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