The liberals are at it again. I saw a reference to this in a friend's
.sig, and at first I thought it was a joke, but then I did some research just to be sure. It's no joke.
This time, they've dreamed up
a new way to destroy Christianity with their
political correctness:
The Metric Bible.
Slated for fall release, the
Metric Bible will attempt to "rationalize"
Scripture by "fixing" all the "inconvenient" (read: accurate) numbers which dot the text. For example, the number of
Gideon's sons will be changed from "
threescore and ten" to 100.
Judas will henceforth receive a payment of 100 pieces of silver (it's just like
the liberals to give him a raise).
Adam will gain seventy years of life, dying now at age 1000;
Enos will make out like a bandit, gaining 95 years to equal
Adam's 1000.
The plain and reliable account of
Creation given in
Genesis will be defaced: The
liberal God will spend nine days creating the
Earth, and rest on the tenth day. This is clearly the first step in a gradual campaign to lengthen the time given in the Biblical account until it matches the ludicrous figures favored by the "
evolution" cult.
All measurements given in
cubits will be converted to
meters,
miles to
kilometers,
acres to square
kilometers.
Og king of Bashan will grow until his bed is ten
cubits by five, and then they'll convert to
meters,
and then they'll round up again!
In the
Gospels,
Matthew 5:41 will be changed. "And whosoever shall compel thee to go a mile, go with him twain" is the correct version, but
the liberals will change "
twain" to "ten", and "mile" to "
kilometer". Do the math for yourself: It's farther in their version.
This is not a small thing. I am a righteous man: When somebody compels me to go a mile, I do indeed go two, but
not one inch further. The liberals would have me go very much further indeed,
in defiance of the will of God.
(While we're in
Matthew, allow me to call your attention to
Matthew 5:40, wherein
our Savior advocates
tort reform).
The
parable of the hundred sheep (
Matthew 18:12) will be left intact.
The liberals always liked that one anyway.
The
Number of the Beast in
Revelation will be rounded up to 1000.
There will be only ten apostles.
My friends, we must not permit this abomination!