still not our nate


Nathan is free again, out into the world I live in that he considers dead. He is free, he says, not because he has changed, except that he now has realized that he must avoid saying the wrong things to the wrong people.


He tells me that we’re still not real humans, because humans don’t get it and people like him (and I?) do. We’re people, he says, but we’re God’s people. Humans aren’t. He also says that he’s supposed to go to Hollywood to share his message with the world. California is both the problem and the solution.


Nathan also tells me that his cat is “The Paradox”, although he refuses to elaborate, telling me that it would be dangerous for me to know. Then in a burst of laughter he tells me that his cat (‘The Dude’) is actually the physical manifestation of his dream-self.


Next he goes on to talk about whether or not we’re outside ‘the box’. Not as in ‘thinking outside the box’, he tells me, no, he means ‘outside the real box’, meaning the one that surrounds the face of the earth. ‘Because the earth is really a big diamond’, he says.


Nathan is dying. I know this because he has told me so. The fact that everyone is dying makes no difference to him, he says, because at this point in history, he is the single most important person in the world. Oh, and it’s not really 2002. It’s really 4000-something, AD.



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