return to Episode 2
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He was wearing a tie and jacket, and his letterhead carried the logo of a prominent agency. He thought I might prefer to discuss the
matter in private, so I asked him inside.
“Thank you for inviting me into your home,” he said, removing
his shoes without my having to ask.
Then he did the strangest thing. He took a
pinch of something from his pocket and tossed it into the air.
“Hey!” I said. “Don’t go throwing stuff in my house.”
He put his hands up and sort of cringed. “I have forgotten my place," he said. "To sprinkle salt when entering the home of a friend—” He got to his
knees and started brushing the tile with his sleeve. “It was immodest of me,” he said, rapping his head sharply with his knuckles. “But I can undo it. It will just take a moment. Your floor is very clean. And that is a sign of
good character.”
“—I’ll take care of it," I said. "Just, please, get up.”
“It will take but a moment," he insisted. "Your floor is
very nice, very respectable—”
Then he spotted something from the corner of his
eye. “Shall I?” he asked, pointing to a bit of debris near the wall. “While I
am here?”
Before I could answer, he snatched it up and popped it into
his mouth and then sat there, on his knees, chewing contritely.
“I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” I said.
The man brought his hands to his face in anguish. Then he covered
his ears and shook his head. “No, no, no. I will make this right. You will see.”
And as though to prove his point, he twisted around and pulled off one of his
socks and began polishing the floor with it.
“That’s it," I said, "I’m calling the police—”
“No, please,” he replied, and started emptying his pockets with
both hands and laying the contents at my feet. “Please, take what I have, all
of it; it is yours.” He motioned to his watch. “You see? This is very reliable,
believe me.” He held it up to his ear for a moment then carefully set it on
the floor with the rest.
Suddenly, it occurred to me that these were my belongings, all of them, even the tie and jacket.
“Where did you get all this?” I asked.
He had begun to prostrate himself. “Please, I will do whatever you say.”
“Why are you wearing my clothes?” I demanded.
He didn’t answer right away. He was hunched over his phone, trying to
keep it out of sight. Then he began to scream, “For the love of God, someone, help
me!”
I tried to snatch the phone away. “Who are you talking to?” I demanded.
He shoved his fists in his pockets. “No, it is nothing,” he
said. Then he raised his hands, pleadingly. “I will do anything you ask.”
“Then answer me!” I screamed. “Why are you in my house?”
He clasped his hands over his head as though to ward off a blow.
“Answer me!” I screamed.
“Hail Mary, full of
Grace, the Lord is with thee—”
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continue to episode 4