We need more bands like The CNK.

Hailing from Rouen, France, The CNK play martial industrial black metal of a thematic bent that manages to offend both Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells and your local Guardianista all at once. Current band members include Nicolas St Morand aka Hreidmarr, better known as being the androgynous screamer behind Anorexia Nervosa; Jean-S├ębastien Ogilvy aka Von Baalberith, Jean Artfield-Lautrec aka Valnoir, some sort of artist type who was involved with both the straight-edge vegan and highly leftist French industrial act Undercover Slut and the rather questionable NSBM act Pogrom (how he managed to do that without one or the other scene firebombing him I have no idea), and Volponi, who basically sits behind the drums and doesn't do much else.

Did I mention that they're really politically incorrect?

I mean, really really REALLY politically incorrect? That they make la gauche caviar catch fire just by being in the vicinity, that's how politically incorrect they are? Hell, they out-politically-incorrect both Manowar (authors of the distinctly Gorean "Pleasure Slave") and Carnivore (thrash band that Pete Steele was in before Type O Negative who did a song with the chorus line, "I LAAAHHVVE TO EAT PUSSEH!").

Ohhhh yes. The CNK will offend you. And rightly so.

Vegetarian? They have a song called "Dinner is Ready" which is all about the virtues of meat and how it "makes you glad you're at the top of the food chain, so you can enjoy it," and insults those who aren't so inclined. Just for the fun of it.

Left wing activist/radical type? Their song "Martialist" parodies you as "fighting for freedom of speech / for everyone except fascist pigs" and "belonging to the police of truth / here to shape the spirit of youth." A gross generalisation, maybe, but who cares.

Keith Vaz? May I recommend the song "Get a Gun, Shoot at Random" for obvious reasons.

Live in Bridgend? Likewise, because one bit of it involves Hreidmarr growling, "KILL YOURSELF. KILL YOURSELF. KILL YOURSELF. KILL YOURSELF. FUCKING KILL YOURSELF."

Feminist? Your song is "Love Game Over," which involves verses about stalking and lust murder, because "I love you as a slut." Ohh yes. Then there's the bit about raping someone in the liver.

Social conservative? How about the fact that the band all dress androgynously on stage, in a mixture of 19th Century militaria and make up, making them look... well, a bit homosexual. The straightest man in the world, Richard Littlejohn, would almost certainly accuse them of promoting "poovery" as he terms it. The cover of their first album, "Ultraviolence Uber Alles," originally featured Hreidmarr and Von Baalberith, in the nude, respectively aiming a gun into the camera and leering licentiously. Go on Littlejohn. You know you want to bugger them both until they can't shit. The enhanced edition features the same two chaps love-slug-wrestling in uniform. Ho Yay.

Mary Whitehouse type? They do a song called "Kommando 96," or "Kommando sechsundneunzig" as they put it, but when screeched into a mic at close range it sounds like "come on your tits." I believe this is deliberate.

Antifa type? They wear uniforms on stage, like I said. Oh, and the French record chain FNAC refused to stock their 2007 album "L'Hymne a la Joie" because its cover resembled a World War Two-era propaganda poster. Considering how in recent years parts of the antifa movement has shat itself at anything that might possibly have the meanest hint of a suggestion of nationalism, I think you get the idea. Whereas the CNK parade around in uniforms and stuff.

I think you get the idea.

What so they sound like, though, I hear you ask? Well, from their industrial heritage, the CNK have the impersonal, tight drumming and electronic licks that you might expect, and from their black metal side, they inherit buzzsaw-like guitar riffs and that sort of brain-drilling screeched vocal delivery courtesy of Hreidmarr. In short, it's as evil and brutal as a kleptocratic Third World dictator who refers to his citizens as "my little playthings," and so forth. This is music for people who want everybody else to lose and big red cars. Alex DeLarge from "A Clockwork Orange" would probably like this band - and in fact, the band cites Burgess's novel as one of their inspirations.

Yeah, we need more bands like The CNK.

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