Part Three -- in which Bob is propositioned by a beatiful blonde sorority girl...

Bob was sitting on a comfortable couch in the lobby of his dorm. The couch was an odd green color, but as far as practical purposes went, it was a great couch, soft yet supportive. Bob was reading a novel about young people who drink and fall in love.

It was unfortunate that Bob had to sit in the lobby in order to enjoy the couch, but two flights of stairs and a tiny living space provided just enough difficulty to quell Bob's larcenistic musings. Still, the couch was probably the best piece of furniture in the slightly worn-down dormitory, and Bob coveted it.

Inside the book in Bob's hands, wine was being poured into glasses and slipped down throats. Bob read with great attention, even though he was not a great fan of wine. Upstairs, young people were drinking and falling in love as well, but Bob was consciously ignoring them. Bob also coveted the female lead of the novel.

Regrettably, Bob was to get neither the couch, nor the lady. In fact, Bob was going to have to stop reading his novel, just as soon as he noticed the sorority girl staring at him from the foot of the stairs.

Bob pulled his legs up so that he was sitting cross-legged. Not many couches allow you to do that comfortably, but this one did. Bob made a note of it. He also made a note of the lack of manly swagger in the male lead of the novel. Finally Bob made a note of the sorority girl.

She was blonde, and a member of the Delta Gamma sorority. She was here visiting a friend who had been denied her bid to become a sister of DG. Everyone in the building was either drinking or studying, and the two of them had been doing the former.

Bob looked up at her. She was pretty, in a sorority sort of way, and she had large breasts held tightly in check by her red sorority t-shirt. It was the red which had caught Bob's attention. He looked at the red, and then he looked up at her face. He looked down at her chest for a second, but the breasts and the greek letters made him think of sex and physics, so he quickly pushed his gaze back onto the printed page.

"Hi." She had approached him, and there was no one else in the room, so that had to be directed at Bob. Loud music sifted its way down into the lobby, becoming a sort of quiet hum in the process. Bob looked at the girl like she was from another planet. Someone upstairs had put on a rap CD, so there was now extra thudding in the quiet hum.

The girl's face was pulled into an eager drunken smile. She held her hands down by her waist. Against all odds, she spoke again.

"You're Bob, aren't you?"

It was undeniable. Bob was indeed, Bob. But why... ?

"I mean, you're like, *the* Bob?"

Bob had never spoken to a sorority girl before, and he kept his record intact with some careful body language. "I am confused -- I am Bob, but tell me who you are and what is it exactly that you are looking for," said Bob's body.

"You know, like, Bob the Hero, Protector of the Universe?"

"Ohh. Ha ha ha." Bob's record shattered like a brittle black disc. "I'm Bob the Reader -- completely different Bob." He proved it by looking back at his book.

The girl, whose name was Traci, stepped daintily towards Bob and fell onto the couch next to him. Bob couldn't understand why she was still here.

"But," she continued undeterred by Bob's obvious interest in his book and lack of non-sexual interest in her, "you *are* Bob, right?"

Bob nodded.

"Oh goody. We've been looking for you." A strange visage of concentration appeared from her features like Shakespeare from a television. It must have been difficult to think after that margarita that was so cold and so big. "Maggie says it's very important that we find Bob so that she can talk with him."

"Ah." Bob closed his book regretfully. The characters in the novel stopped drinking for the moment. Upstairs the drinking and the music continued. "You see, I don't know anyone named Maggie."

"Oh, that's no problem. She's very friendly."

"Umm... ok." For some reason it hadn't occurred to this girl that Bob was not the Hero. Bob waited for her to go away. She didn't.

"I'm, like, so glad I've found you." Traci's face went blank, as if she were contemplating a koan or maybe just reverting to her normal empty-headedness. She and Bob sat together there in the lobby for a good minute or two in silence.

Finally realisation jumped into her. "Wow!" exclaimed Traci.

"Hm?" Bob was vaguely afraid.

"This couch is like, so comfy!"

To be continued... by Part Four -- in which Bob engages in a high-tech battle to the death...

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