The Terrible Coffee Song
(Evil Brown Stuff)
Terrible coffee, why are you here?
I'd rather drink off milk, or stale old beer.
Terrible coffee, you torture my tongue;
No-one in their right mind would drink you for fun.
Terrible coffee from a vending machine
It's not even worth drinking you for caffeine.
Terrible coffee! A blight on the Earth
I paid nothing for you; it's more than you're worth.
This song is dedicated to the free vending machine
at First City Insurance
, which I can only assume was provided as part of some kind of sick practical joke
. I wrote it on the Tube coming home one evening, with the acrid
aftertaste still in my mouth. It took me about an hour to realise that the tune I was using was Peaches
, by The Presidents of the United States of America
. It also fits with Scarborough Fair
, I realised soon afterwards, but Peaches
is far better. I've played with a couple of other tunes for it...