Ten Stupid Things Men Do to Mess Up Their Lives.
Dr. Laura Schlessinger,
1997.
Dr. Schlessinger (better known as the internationally
syndicated radio talk show hostess, "
Dr. Laura") could have spared us all a bit of trouble, by writing "10
stupid things PEOPLE do to
mess up their lives" - this book is essentially the same as her oh-so-similarly titled
Ten Stupid Things Women Do to Mess Up Their Lives, just with a male slant. They both boil down to:
For the "men" version of the
pattern, she derives 10 chapters as follows. (Preface each with the word "stupid, as in "Stupid Chivalry", etc.)
- Chivalry: "By getting involved with the wrong woman (weak, flaky, damaged, needy, desperate, stupid, untrustworthy, immature, etc.) you think that your love will save/transform her."
- Independence: Numbing a hunger for intimacy and bonding with empty indulgence of drugs, sex, work, and play.
- Ambition: Measuring personal achievement and self-worth by "stupid" yardsticks of money, toys, power, and status.
- Strength: Using intimidation, force, or manipulation to deal with feelings of vulnerability.
- Sex: Measuring sexuality and power by acting out sexually at every opportunity.
- Matrimony: "Lacking a mature sense of the purpose, meaning, or value of marriage, you realize too late you've married the wrong woman for the wrong reasons and feel helpless to 'fix it.' "
- Husbanding: Immature, unequal, inappropriate, unrealistic expectations of marriage and partner.
- Parenting: Estrangement from "nurturer" role in favor of "provider" and/or "disciplinarian" roles.
- Boyishness: Relationships with women are all colored by unresolved, vengeful, or estranged relationship with Mommy.
- Machismo: Confusion between being male and being a man.
While her tone can sometimes be irritatingly condescending, Dr. Laura hits a number of nails right on the head. A valuable book, but not invaluable. Try
The Road Less Traveled for a better treatment of similar topics.