Sympathizing with women

I think I understand more about what women have to put up with beyond just what they tell me. I mean, I can lend an ear to any of my female friends who need to unload and try to understand what they go through -- I honestly try to imagine what it's like. Well, this summer, my co-worker Michelle and I went to a gay bar in Brewster, NY. It was "the bar" that my boss was the "queen" at. He always had a story to tell us of that bar and his "adventures" there.

Well, we (Michelle and I) went to the bar and ordered our drinks. She said she loved it there because she felt totally safe and didn't have to worry about some random guy picking her up there. I chewed on this for a little while as I downed my first tequila sunrise.

It was a couple hours into the night, and my boss had finally shown up. He was making his rounds while Michelle and I sat at a table near the bar. We were talking when I suddenly felt this bumping (perhaps it was humping behind me. I didn't think too much of it as there was music playing (I believe it was Alice Deejay's "Better Off Alone") and there were quite a few people dancing. However, as the bumping continued, I stole a glance behind me.

Oh my god.

I froze. There was this balding man behind me with a bushy mustache, wearing a "wife-beater" (I hate that term) and blue jeans, and he was probably around 30-35 years old dancing and bumping against me. From the corner of my eye, I could tell he was checking me out, but when I looked at him, he looked away quickly. There was a ton of room around the area where I was at, and it was blatantly obvious he was hitting on me as he was the only one in the vicinity. I just didn't know what to do, so I sipped my drink (fourth? fifth?) and uneasily continued the conversation with Michelle. Eventually, he left me alone.

Later on in the night, I got into a conversation about anime with this large man with a lisp and a couple earrings in one of his ears. He started to ask me where I was from, noting that he hasn't seen me there before and kept asking if I was having a good time. Soon, my boss came around and put his arm lavishly around my shoulders. At this point, he was plastered and rudely dragged me away from Billy (anime guy). He whispered (sounded like shouting to me, but it was whispering to him): "I just saved your butt from him. He totally wants you."

My reaction: *pause* "Oh."

The rest of the night was also quite an adventure, but it didn't involve any of the guys from the bar, and that story is best left untold for now. Perhaps I'll node about that in the future.

Well, back to the reason for the nodetitle... What I realized after I woke up the next day, finally sober, was that I could finally relate to what some of my girl friends were telling me, about how "icky old guys" would hit on them. It was annoying and kind of disgusting and they usually just didn't know what to do. And the experience that night at the gay bar made me completely sympathize with what they were saying. Drunk, horny guys can make people feel quite uncomfortable.

But I still had fun there, overall. The music was good, and the people were friendly (obviously some were overly so). I can honestly say that the atmosphere, though "hornier," was a lot better than that of many of the bars that I've been to. This experience was unexpected, so I think I would be able to handle something like this better in the future. I'm sure I can be comfortable being straight in a gay bar, so I do believe I'll be going back there sometime soon.

Up until last year, I thought I understood women more than the average guy. But I do agree with Sympathizing with women. It finally dawned on me that I was completely kidding myself. I always believed that men and women could in fact understand one another if only they would make the effort. But after getting some more experience with women beyond what is just considered friendly, I realized what very different species we really are.

Drunk and horny guys very understandably are not cool. Walking around with my female friends around the NYU area is disturbing, especially because sleazy guys lean half way out of their souped up honda civic's and make cat calls. As if that would increase this guys chance of ever getting with this girl who he's denouncing. It's pathetic, and it makes women uncomfortable. Guys who do that should be beaten.

But in the end, it's nice to be a guy. We men will never understand what women want or think (regardless of what Mel Gibson will try to tell us). If God intended men and women to actually understand each other, the mystery of discovering the opposite sex wouldn't be there, and the fun of relationships would disappear. So in the end, we men should enjoy being our primative selves, but we should also be Gentlemen.

When I was living in Florida I worked at a gas station across the street from a trailer park where a lot of the tenants would come over and buy a couple variations of the cheapest beer available*.

One night this woman comes in raging drunk, and immediately starts hitting on me. Asking me if the newspaper I was reading had a playboy behind it, asking if I was horny, if I wanted to fuck her, and asking if I would let her give me head. I tried ignoring her for a while, stayed polite, trying to humor her and get her out of the store.
After that didnt work I decided to try and ignore her, maybe she would pass out, or go away or something. So I go into the backroom start mopping the floor (cue the poundtrack) and she followed me into the back room and started pushing up on me, trying to grind against me, and trying to unbuckle my pants. Basically she was on me like Oprah on a Wendys triple. After I pushed her away she started pulling up her shirt and flashing her boobs at me (Of course she didnt have a bra on) asking me to suck her nipples. To make a long story short, After having enough of politely declining her repeated offers I ended up giving her beer so she would leave.

Anyway, the point of this diatribe, is that ever since that night, I can relate to what a woman feels like when guys perv all over them. I can kind of understand how women feel when sexually harassed. I can kind of understand how a woman feels when she is raped. Not that I was raped, all that really happened is she kept trying to grab my dick, and showed me her boobs, but I could see how it may feel similar to someone forcing themselves on a woman just so they can get their rocks off, and being totally disgusted at the idea of it. Did I mention that the woman looked like Her face had caught on fire and someone tried to put it out with a shovel?

*Any beer that comes in a 40oz bottle for less than $1.00 probably leaves a bit to be desired when it comes to quality