Strap-on dildo

Why use a strap-on?

For hetero and homosexual couples alike, the strap-on gives the users a rare opportunity to experience a different side of their sexuality. Popular fantasies are brought to life as couples change their roles and inherit a new appendage along the way.

For couples, the draw of the strap-on often has to do with exploring fantasy. For example, in a heterosexual couple, when the woman's doing the penetrating, the power dynamic changes. The male takes on a submissive role while being penetrated. This shift can be incredibly exciting for both partners. If you're looking for a little role-play, the strap-on just might be the trick. Women, however, aren't the only ones who use these devices. Men who have trouble getting an erection, or who want to masturbate during penetration, use strap-ons as well.

For many lesbians today, the question is not whether you own a strap-on, but how many you own. What many people don't realize is that such dildos have gained a tremendous following among straight couples as well. What's become commonly known as "strap-on sex" — putting a dildo in a harness and strapping it on in order to anally or vaginally penetrate a partner — is a common practice among straight and gay alike. Many straight men have discovered what many gay men have known all along, that it feels great to be anally penetrated by a lover. Not only is this an incredibly intimate act, but it provides exquisite prostate stimulation. Women too enjoy turning the tables on their male partners, and can feel quite powerful with a penis between their legs. Some men also don strap-ons to experiment with double penetration on their lovers, or to continue intercourse after an erection has subsided.

Strapping a dildo to your body can be quite a thrill, especially for women. It's no surprise, then, that strap-ons have become some of the most popular sex toys on the market.

For those of you that are curious about strap-on sex, I have put together a quick basic primer.

Choosing a dildo

Your tools will be a dildo and a harness. The dildo's most important feature is the flared base, as this holds it in place in the harness. Beyond that, your decision boils down to three areas: material, size, and function. As for materials, rubber and jelly can be an inexpensive way to test the waters, but ultimately you'll probably be more satisfied if you go with a silicone toy. Plenty has been written about selecting your dildo, including materials.

Size is simply a matter of getting the right fit. Dildo sizes usually refer to length and width. If you're planning to use a dildo in a harness, you need to add about 2 cm to the length to accommodate the space between bodies. A good-sized length is about 18 cm (if you get one that is too long, you may bump it up against the cervix). The width usually refers to the diameter of the dildo. If you're not sure about the diameter, choose something slightly smaller than what you think you'll need. *)

Function refers to how you plan to use your dildo. When you're all suited up in your harness, what position are you partial to? A dildo that curves up will stimulate the G spot in the missionary position, whereas a less curved or straight dildo affords more range of movement for those who like to mix things up. If you're trying anal penetration, you'll probably want something slimmer, and make sure you get a smooth anal toy, as anal toys with bulges in them, like butt-plugs, are meant to be left in place. You may also want to add a little vibration to the action, which makes dildos with a hollowed out shaft a good buy. You can use those as they are, or insert a vibrating bullet or rod to make them buzz with excitement.

Choosing a harness

What you want in a harness is comfort and a good fit. If you hate g-string underwear because you can't tolerate a thin string up your ass, then you know what I'm talking about. Original harnesses were shaped like g-strings with a single strap in the back (these are still popular), but princesses like me have proved to prefer the subsequent design — two leg straps connected to a waist strap. Also, men prefer this style because it leaves their testicles unrestricted. Most harnesses are listed with dimensions and will fit a range of body types, but you should make sure the leg and waist straps are adjustable.

Finally you will have to choose between fabric and leather. Both are durable, but leather tends to be more supple and sexy, while fabric is more economical. Unless you're buying an exceptionally fat dildo or a small dildo with a flimsy base, most harness holes accommodate today's silicone dildos. Additional variations on the harness theme include a double harness, which allows the wearer to insert a dildo on the inside of the harness, or a thigh harness, which gives free access to the wearer's genitals, and lends itself to some interesting positions.

Other, more rare types are "Spandex" harnesses and "Elastic" harnesses. "Spandex" harnesses are essentially a pair of biking shorts with a cutout for a dildo. Very comfortable and offering the pleasing appearance of tight-fitting underwear, these harnesses can cause problems if they're shared between partners of varied sizes. As well, with most models your genitals are hidden away during all the fun. "Elastic" harnesses are cheap and don't hold dildos in place very well. So why buy one? There are just not a lot of good things you can say about these harnesses.

Getting Going

Before you start out with your dildo and harness, make sure you have plenty of water-based lube on hand. If this is your first time, you've probably already talked to your partner about doing this erotic adventure together, and you're both eagerly anticipating a round of strap-on sex. It helps if you have a good sense of humor — as with learning any new sex technique you're in for some trial and error, but with a little practice you'll get the hang of it. Even though the dildo is attached to your body, you can't feel it, so in the beginning it will help to put a hand around the base of the dildo and guide your toy in and out for a while until you get comfortable with the rhythm. Make sure your partner lets you know what angle and depth of penetration feels good, as well as speed and pacing.

Play with different positions. Instead of the missionary position, let the receptive partner be on top so as to control the motion. Or try standing at the edge of the bed rather then kneeling on it and penetrating your partner using the rear entry or missionary positions. During anal penetration, make sure the receptive partner relaxes his or her anus and use plenty of lube. Go slow. Insert a finger or two first to prepare the anus, especially if the dildo you'll be using isn't a very small one.

All the action needn't be on the receiving end of a dildo; the wearer can stimulate his or herself in many ways: a man can wear a cock ring, a woman can slip a small vibrator under the harness around the base of the dildo, or anyone can insert a butt-plug.

And remember for those about to kink, keep it clean.
Now you should be ready to go out and try a little strap-on sex!