This morning/last night, I figured out what's been bugging me for a long time. It seems that every time I think a woman is flirting with me, one of the following two scenarios play out.

1. She's not flirting with me at all and I'm reading into it too much. That same darn overactive pattern recognition that causes our species to think clouds look like animals and that static sounds like the ocean. So I end up feeling like a fool. Depending on how obviously I've responded to her imaginary flirtation, I might also look like a fool or even like a creepoid. This by itself I can handle; I acknowledge that scenario 1. is completely my problem and in my own head. If this were the consistant reinforcement I was recieving, I'd eventually stop responding and things would fall into place. However, there's that other evil case...

2. She really is flirting with me. Except, she's some kind of attention junkie. She is also at the same time flirting with everyone and is incapable of following up with any one guy because she keeps being distracted by other guys responding to her. So I get that icky swarm-of-spermatozoa-clustered-around-an-ovum feeling and want to get as far away from her as I can. Geez, pick one and call it a night already. Women, if this describes you, then stop. Just please fucking stop.

You can't, can you? Yeah, I figured as much. Okay, how about this, do whatever the hell you want, but know that you no longer have the moral right to complain about what jerks guys are, because you are every bit as bad as 'they' are!!!!

I'd be just fine by myself; I've had a fair sampling of relationships and concluded that they are not for me at this point in life. Yet the same false promise still beckons now and then, and I keep falling for it over and over and over again. Every single time, it's either 1. or 2. Well, this totally does it. Next time I sense this sort of bullshit, I'm going to describe the two scenarios to her and ask up front which one it's going to be this time. That should save some needless frustration. Or maybe I'll just assume it's 2. and ignore her completely no matter what she does or says.

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