Note: I am not making this up.
While flipping through an issue of Jane magazine in a waiting room yesterday,
I came across a feature article on care of the rump: specifically, how to keep your
rear end feeling smooth and smelling fresh. ("Exfoliate to get rid of nasty skin
bumps!", etc.) Then suddenly a strange product name hit me in the eye: Sphincterine
Asstringent! I thought it was a joke, but apparently this is a legitimate, if gimmicky
According to the official web site, "Sphincterine Asstringent was developed for
both men and women who like to feel fresh all over... even back there."
Ingredients of Sphincterine:
Glycerin (vegetable based)
Citrus Grandis (Grapefruit Seed Extract)
Dead Sea Salt
Ascorbic Acid (Vitamin C)
Hamamelis Virginiana (Witch Hazel Extract)
Aloe Barbadensis (Aloe Vera Extract)
Perilla Frutescens Japanica (Perilla Seed Extract)
Mentha Viridis (Spearmint Oil)
Hydrastis Canadensis (Golden Seal)
Echinacea Angustifolia (Echinacea)
Calendula Officinalis (Calendula)
The ingredients make for what is described as an initial warming sensation,
followed by a tingly coolness. The literature doesn't say for sure, but I
believe that this product is meant to be applied to the actual anus, not just
the buttocks. Sphincterine serves a twofold purpose: that of allowing those
obsessed with freshness and cleanliness to rest assured that they smell good
right down to their bums, and to entertain those who enjoy interesting sensations
in that area.
Sphincterine is made of food-grade ingredients, and is non-toxic. Which means
that you can comfortably apply it anywhere on your body; excepting, perhaps, the eyes.
* Excalibre points out, rightfully, that some of the ingredients in Sphincterine might irritate sensitive skin. In other words, if you are allergic to any of the ingredients or have had problems with facial products containing similar ingredients, don't put this stuff where the sun don't shine!
What you do with this information is up to you. I just found this product far too
interesting to keep to myself!