Brilliant parody of Smugglers Blues by Ray Simard, originally posted in, Thu, 05 Mar 1998. Permission to repost graciously granted by Mr Ray Simard.

The Spam-Warrior's Blues
(To the tune of "Smuggler's Blues," with profuse apologies to Glenn Frey!)

There's trouble on the net tonight, there's a spammer making calls,
He tried to forge his headers, but it didn't help at all,
I knew the LART was loaded and I moved in for the kill,
But the #%!# was even faster, and my efforts came to nil.

So baby it came thick, it even overdrove the LAN,
It wasn't even funny; we did everything we can,
And the fool was such a coward; couldn't stand up like a man,
I'm sorry the net went down like this; all packets were refused,
It's the nature of the business; it's the spam-warrior's blues.

The spamlords and their clients, the admins and the trolls,
The killfiles and the procmail, and the relay-rape and all,
No matter if it's spamware, porn or get-rich-quick,
Ya got to set your filters or you'll go down like a brick,
Perhaps you'd understand it better, sifting through the clues,
It's the ultimate frustration, it's the spam-warrior's blues.

You see it in the subject lines, you get it every day,
We're all trying to stop it, but it doesn't go away,
They move it through the backbones, they try to sneak away,
They cry The First Amendment and that now it's here to stay.

It's sopping up the bandwidth just to transport all the spew,
You ask anyone how to stop it; they say haven't got a clue,
But to keep up on the pressure 'til the last mole's days are through,
Time to grab your trusty mallet; here's a good one you can use,
It's the politics of #%#%!spam; it's the spam-warrior's blues!

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