This is basically a rewrite of a conversation I got into with some friends in Germany
late one night.
Axel "Wow. Strong stuff. I love Vodka
Axel "I really have to give it to the guy that created Vodka
. Had to be a genius
Me: "yeah" blink blink
"Uhh. why did he have to be a genius
Axel "Well, think about it. The first beer
was made from grain, the first wine
from grapes, or fruit, and the first Vodka
from potatoes."(Here Axel poured some more ice cold vodka into the boot shaped glass he was drinking from)
Axel "No. I'm not finished yet. Think about it. How was beer
created? Some idiot stored grain
in an airtight barrel for a long time, and then ran out of grain years later, and grabbed the barrel. He finishes the nasty stuff, because he would starve otherwise. Then he finds the nasty watery stuff in the bottom, drinks it, because he has to wash the nasty taste out of his mouth, has a blast, wakes up the next day, and tells his friend what a blast it is to drink fermented grain juice. Beer is created."
Axel "So wine
, it's basically the same thing, somebody just leaves some grape juice sitting around too long, and discovers how fun it is to drink
Axel " But what about vodka? Potatoes
don't just drip out juice, they don’t ferment that well either, they try and grow if they sit around too long. Some Russian, stuck back home after traveling as a college
kid, gets hard up for some of that fermented juice he had with his friends in the good old days back when their parents sent them to Egypt. So he thinks 'What do we have like grain?' And thinks potatoes. He then spends the next year cutting potatoes into little pieces, and then waits another coupla of years to get his alcohol, only to try it, and realize is the strongest and nastiest stuff in the world to drink straight, throws it out, and goes blind a year later for all of his effort. Man that guy must have been smart."
Axel (in badly accented English) "Here is to you crazy smart Russian man!"
Actual true conversation, abet it probably was cooler sounding in German,(and when I was drunk). Although it is perhaps a bit historically inaccurate, every time I drink vodka, I think of my conversation with Axel and laugh"