Some Observations on Getting a Girlfriend
Practical, simple advice. Aimed mainly at the younger crowd of single males... though it can be applied to virtually anyone.
Well, if you're a guy like me, kinda timid and laid-back, you've probably had more than just a bit of trouble getting a girlfriend in your lifetime. But lots of girls think you're cool though, but they just want to be... uck... "friends." Do you really want that? Probably not. You want someone to snuggle up with, to cuddle with, to make out with, and possibly to even fuck. So, for your benefit, here are four simple rules that I devised, that have helped me out immeasurably in my quest for female companionship.
NEVER tell a girl that you like her, until you have her in your arms
This is crucial. Key. Critical. The first rule. Mumble it to yourself at random intervals, scrawl it down on nearby sheets of paper. Do not forget this rule, and do NOT break it except under the strangest and most extreme circumstances. If you do break it and tell a girl that you like her, without even having touched her in any serious way yet, I can almost guarantee that you'll fail miserably and you'll have +1 to your "friend" count. (Unless, of course, she happens to TOTALLY dig you, or is really really desperate.)
Why, you ask? It's simple. Until you've had good touching going on with a girl and gotten close enough for her to know that it feels really great to be held by you, she probably isn't thinking of you as a boyfriend yet, just as someone cool to confide in (or something. That's what I always got.) Additionally, most girls like the thrill of the chase, so to speak. Being in suspense, thinking "Well, I think he might just like me... I'm pretty sure he does... hmmm!" does wonders to keep her interested in you and keep her thinking about you. (If you still don't quite understand, just think of a good mystery novel, for instance. An exciting murder mystery, really suspenseful, lots of plot twists.... only at the very beginning, they tell you who the murderer is. Not as much fun now, is it?) Naturally, this also means that telling a girl you like her via e-mail, IM's, and over the phone are GENERALLY bad ideas. In very, very rare circumstances, they can work... or if you use a little creativity, they work too. Just don't use them because you're too chickenshit to tell her face-to-face. Anyhow, that ties into the next rule...
NEVER hesitate to touch a single girl.
Makes sense right? Touch is the language of lovers, and if you want a girl to be your girlfriend and to enjoy special time with you, you have to touch her in ways that she enjoys. Begin touch with very friendly, playful, neutral touch, like playfully poking her, or holding her arm... something really simple. Work your way up from there. Don't forget to keep conversation going at this point either, keep talking about stuff (funny stuff works best! Making a girl laugh is very, very good, because it makes her feel more comfortable with you, which is exactly what you want.)
Keep touching, but don't be overbearing, don't be timid, and don't be too aggressive either. It sounds tricky, but it's something that you just learn with practice. It's good to start on the arms or shoulders. Rubbing her back is usually great. One part of her that is crucial to get a hold of is the hand. If she even lets you hold her hand, that means she is generally okay with your touching. The hand is like a gauge to determine how much she enjoys what you're doing. Holding hands is not just something romantic to do... it's like a little meter that tells you how well you're doing. If she squeezes your hand, that's generally a good sign. If she lets go of it, that means you may have just done something wrong... gently grab the hand again, apologise if you must, and don't do whatever you did again (well, not yet anyways.) This part is tough to explain... but touch is crucial. You have roughly a snowball's chance in hell of getting a girlfriend without even touching her. Besides, there's no good reason not to touch a single girl. It can be very mutually satisfying. Just remember, if she asks you not to do something, for god's sake... don't do it! That can really ruin things. And if she asks you to not even touch her, she's almost definitely beyond hope. Move on... kinda ties in with the next section.
Additionally, I've written a TON more, all about touching, over at A Guide To Passionate Touching. It ties in with this.
Until you get a girlfriend, do stuff with as many single girls as you can.
There is NO reason to fawn over one particular girl at a time, if you're not involved in a serious relationship with her. So go out, go on dates with lots of different girls... keep your options open! Before you know it, you'll start looking less desperate, and desperate is a major turn-off to most girls. You'll be more self-confident, your skills with talking and touching will improve greatly, and your chances to get a girlfriend are much higher if you have interests in several girls. Just remember that when you get one as a girlfriend, your best bet is to stick exclusively with her from that point on, until you break up with her. Don't cheat on her, and be honest with her about things that you do with other girls while you're with her. It's for the better. Don't get too greedy. Don't cheat. It's not cool.
There are many, many, many single girls out there. Broaden your horizons. Take chances. Be funny and spontaneous. But don't get desperate over one that just seems SOOO amazing, because when you get desperate, you tend to get stupid as well. Girls tend to not like desperate guys. So just be patient when it comes to dealing with a girl that you like. Let things happen as they will, let it flow naturally. But don't hesitate either, that's just as bad. Just be confident and self-assured, and you'll be more attractive. Dig?
So basically, the plain I like to follow is: Get her alone with you, touch her in ways that she enjoys, and when she's in your arms and you can just feel the mutual attraction... it might just be time to ask her out. And if she says yes, then you could be on your way to a great relationship. And then congrats, you've got yourself a girlfriend.
Thanks for reading my little guide, too. Any comments/corrections are much appreciated, and it will be updated and refined as I think of more stuff. Peace!
And now that I think of it, if this guide helps anyone out at all, I'd REALLY appreciate a /msg telling me a bit about it. Knowing that I've helped someone out would be worth 1000 C!s, and all the upvotes in the world.
domaindudu, I could not agree more. What a wonderful addition! It was once said that the secret to being interesting is to be interested!