I'm not bitter per se
, but there's a little Church Lady
in my head saying "How conve-e-e-e-e-enient!
" Now Bush's popularity ratings are going to surge again (Bush: "Thanks, morons!"), and they're going to stay high as the Democrats trash each other into the ground through the primary season. Then, right as Howard Dean
gets the nomination (and well after everyone knows, courtesy of Dick Gephardt
, how much of a closet Republican he is), they'll suddenly find Osama bin Laden
! You can almost hear the white people chanting in the shadow of the World Trade Center: "Four more years
! Four more years
So then our little asshat President is going to have four years as a lame duck, serving up and weildering triple-secret flaming executive powers without any court of public opinion to keep him in check: only a Republican Congress that's too busy counting their stacks of MTF* krugerrands to care. Meanwhile, Hillary Clinton plots in the darkness to lead a coup, starting in Harlem and spreading across America until Bush fires the nukes and blows everything up.
So, you see, that's why I feel rather nervous about this recent development. Hussein was a very bad man, but did it have to be Bush catching him? It's as if Chiang Kai-Shek teamed up with Josef Stalin to defeat Hitler.**
But, of course, the answer to my question is that Bush's political team knew what they were getting themselves into. This isn't a quagmire for them: it's a quagmire for the rest of us, who believe in civil liberties and fair elections and not pissing all over our friends overseas. Now we have to live with their bullshit for at least four more years. But, y'know, it's no big deal. I'll just move to Canada or something.
*MTF = Moonies, tobacco, and firearms
**There is another theory which states that this has already happened.
I've been getting a lot of flak over this, so maybe I should make it a bit more clear: I wasn't rooting for Saddam. I don't condone anything he did. I wouldn't want him to be back in control of Iraq, and I'm glad that he's gone and that those guys have some chance, however remote, of forming something approaching a democracy, which nobody in the Middle East has managed to do yet. Again, I'm not bitter. I'm just ambivalent. This is a victory for the coalition, but it's also a victory for the Republicans, and anyone who doesn't think they're going to use it for political gain is living on the Good Ship Lollipop.