in this writeup, the author once again expresses part of what he said in secret unrequited love, boring once again the masses of everythingians. anyway, you gotta understand he wrote it out of simple despair, wishing there was a auto nuke in 20 minutes checkbox next to Don't display in "New Writeups" or that Templeton, the author of some advice on girls by a girl : the simple stuff or some likely socially skilled person reads it and advises him.
Well, according to the facts, I should feel a lucky guy. Fourth year of Computer Science with no problems, nice bunch of friends, lots of pretty female friends (or not!), no expensive tastes, nice DSL connection, not many negative rep nodes... Yet people often wonder why do I look sad.
It isn't hard to guess what depresses men.
Women, of course.
Though I'm 21 and I've never had a girl friend or any romantic experience worth explaining, that doesn't worry me much. And then? Yeah, this green-eyed girl. Known her for over 16 years, same school, same high school, same faculty, same language academy. We deeply know each other in some respects and are total strangers in others.
We have been mistaken for a couple walking on the street. I have only seen her blush after I complimented her beauty. We can have ten minutes of wonderful silence together.
We did a draw on school for a ball, to choose dancing pairs. We repeated the draw three times and three times we were drawn as a pair.
One of her best friends tells me to go for her. Everyone does, by the way. She tells me many times how wonderful Los Amantes del Circulo Polar is (a movie about a boy and a girl who are friends for 16 years before realizing they are made for each other), and how she missed someone to take her to the cinema to see it.
Yet, when I overcome my knees shaking and try to ask her to go to the cinema, she rejects it (she's busy, I'm proposing a movie she knows I won't like, ...). If I ask her to call me, she won't. And lately, she's quite cold with me.
I know I have given way too much thought to this, maybe I have missed the train, maybe she's got bored of me being so shy when I am close to her. But she looks at me again, and I melt. I want to hold her in my arms. I want her to hold me in her arms. I want to listen to her voice for hours.
But I cannot. Perhaps I don't want to risk our friendship (what friendship? we don't see each other much nowadays)? Am I just a silly fool? Is this a stupid crush I'll get over (how long? 16 years?)?
Oh, man, I don't know. At least, I'm platonic monogamous and this things can only happen to me one at a time.
And I got to write this. To the 23999 users of Everything registered right now (btw, is there a present to the 24000th?). So all of you really know how pathetic I am.