Sinistar

An ancient arcade game from back in the 1-quarter 1-play day that kicks my ass. A basic overview:

• There are workers, fighters, planetoids, and you.
• The workers mine the planetoids for sinisite crystal.
• The fighters blow you up with incredible efficiency.
• You also mine the planetoids for sinisite crystal, but for a different reason.
• The workers build a Sinistar - a giant, evil monster immune to gunfire - from the crystal.
• You build sinibombs - the only things capable of harming Sinistar - from the crystal.
• Sinistar kicks your ass. You have no chance.

Wildly addictive, yet unreasonably hard. If you get to the second level, enjoy it, because it's probably the farthest you'll ever get.

This game was rather revolutionary because it was the first game to ever use synthesized voices. The voice used is Sinistar's, taunting you by saying things like "Beware, I live" and "I am Sinistar" and "Run, coward!" and "Run, run, run!" Hearing this means, usually, that you're screwed.

I was born after the time of Sinistar, but I read about it. For quite a while, I longed to play it, if only to get a small taste of gaming history. Finally, I found it - an exact replica of the game - at www.shockwave.com. It was beautiful. It's moments like those that make you realize that you do have a soul, even if it's buried under layers and layers of rock-hard callous.

Minor nitpick: the first game to use synthesized voices was, I believe, The Wizard of Wor ("I am the wiz-ard of wo-ar...ah..ah..ah.."). Must agree with Kubla Khan that Sinistar is an evil and addictive game. I briefly lived with one; when we'd forget to turn it off, we'd juuust be falling asleep and the thing would yell "RUN! RUN!"

Guaranteed coronary infarct.

Oh, and Kubla: I tried Sinistar on shockwave.com. Forget it. The original had an 8-way joystick that you used to direct your ship. There's no way a keyboard system can even come close.