The Dead-End Diarist:
Adventures With A Nepotist Bomb Squad
Wednesday, May 15
Got offered a job by one of the companies I sent my resume to before graduation. I have a final interview with one of the partners, Steve Weston, this afternoon. Totally stoked!
Friday, May 17
I officially met everyone here at my new job at a lunch they held to welcome me. So many names to remember. Everyone has been so nice, though! Another guy my age works here, Andy - my cubicle is across from his. We talked at lunch; he seemed to know a lot about Bob Marley. I think he might be a good source if I ever need some medicinal help relaxing, if you know what I mean.
Wednesday, May 22
On Monday David, one of the architects, had me draw some details, I was sure that I completely screwed them up. He told me that I did an okay job, though, and he gave me a lot of pointers. Now I am working with a different architect, Don. He has me working with Andy on some building sections. Got an IM from Weston651978 asking me some "?s bout the bldg sects".
Thursday, May 23
I woke up late today. It's my first day late to work; I hope they don't mind too much. No one has said anything. Andy came in around noon today; he is taking a bowling course at the local university over the summer. I asked him about his IM name, turns out Weston is his last name. He is the son of the partner I interviewed with.
Saturday, May 25
They asked me to come in today to do some tutorials with the drafting program so that I can become productive faster. They actually have all the Windows games on these computers, so I have been playing Free Cell most of the morning.
Monday, May 27
Andy came in at noon again today, as I guess he does every day, with a greasy bag from Carls Jr. Perhaps he has a kinship with favored sons. After a quick lunch he sat down for a long four hours of - well, I'm not sure what his job is exactly.
Tuesday, May 28
I asked around to see if anyone actually knows what Andy’s job is, there was no consensus. In other news, Andy bought an iPod last night (face: standard white), and one of those Bose speaker cradles. He has been playing Creed all day (further reinforcing my suspensions of the hash smokage). Well, that isn't entirely true; he hasn't been listening to Creed all day - just since he got here at noon. I can't even afford an iPod, and I work full time!
Wednesday, May 29
Andy has been wearing a different Bob Marley shirt every day this week. Today he asked me if I knew how to make Minesweeper easier than the beginner level. I told him that with Custom he could make the field whatever size he wants and put as many mines as he wants in – I guess he discovered the games on these computers too.
Friday, May 31
Yesterday I asked Andy if he could help me with a drawing. I went to see how he was coming when he got here at noon today, he was playing Minesweeper. His high score so far is 512 seconds on Custom, I didn't bother to find out what his settings were. The field was pretty big, though. He didn't have the drawing done.
Monday, June 2
Don asked how Andy was coming. I told him that he has been in the trenches for almost a week now. Casualties are high but Andy seems undeterred and in good spirits. I finished the drawing myself.
Tuesday, June 3
One of the incredible talents that Andy has demonstrated is an uncanny ability to reach the back door precisely when the bells of the church across the street start to ring five o'clock. You might think to yourself, "What is he doing? It's too early to leave." But do not doubt his abilities, by the time his hand reaches to turn that knob, the bells will begin to ring.
Friday, June 7
Laura told me today that Andy is actually still in college; he is just working here until he graduates. He has been in college for nine years. She said that he takes about nine hours a semester, but then ends up dropping one or two classes after realizing he can't handle such a demanding load. "Next thing you are going to tell me is he still lives with his parents," I said, jokingly. "Yep."
Tuesday, June 11
Every time I walk by Andy's computer he is playing Minesweeper, with the same drawing behind it as there was last week. He came to talk to me today and he said he is on to something (and he sat on my sketch for the meeting this afternoon that was on my desk). I think the next few days might hold major breakthroughs for the battle.
Wednesday, June 12
It's all Pat Green all the time. Pat Green this week, but some other loser Texas Country singer last week. Who was it that was popular last week? Andy says that Texas Country is more like old country because he doesn't like this new popular country crap. Whatever!
Friday, June 14
Andy told me today that he thinks he is ready to try out the Intermediate level on Minesweeper, skipping the Beginner level all together. I thought about telling him that I think that might be dangerous, just skipping levels paying no attention to the system set-up for him, instead I told him to keep me updated on the fight. Maybe I should buy him some war paint, or camouflage cargo pants?
Monday, June 17
In case anyone was wondering, four. Andy has four different Bob Marley shirts. He is actually listening to Bob Marley today, for the first time that I have heard. He just asked me if I knew anything about roofies - "for a school project," of course. I told him it was construction slang for roof-layers.
Thursday, June 19
Andy just informed me that he just beat his high score on Intermediate level with a time of 562 seconds. He said that if you slow down you can actually try to figure out where the bombs are based on the numbers instead of just randomly clicking on squares until you run into a bomb.
Friday, June 20
Andy skipped class this morning, but still came in at noon because he needed to play some golf. I need to play some fucking golf, too!
Friday, June 27
33 days in the trenches. Somehow, after a quick advancement in the beginning, Andy's detection skills have shown little improvement.
Tuesday, July 1
It reassures me to know that Andy is not fighting this war alone. All over the world, at any given moment, he is but one in the innumerable army of Sweepers in the Great Minewars.
Wednesday, July 2
I guess Creed has come out with a new album, we haven't listened to any country - oh, I am sorry - Texas Country in over a week.
Thursday, July 17
Andy told me today that he thinks he has reached the highest score he is going to reach on Intermediate level and is going to be giving Expert a try. I wished him Godspeed, it is not an easy road down which he will be traveling.
Monday, July 21
Today a friend visited Andy and informed him that if you right-click on a spot you can flag it as a possible mine – which was a complete bombshell to Andy. He has informed me that with this new development he is confident he can break his previous high score of 1024 seconds on Expert – oh you should have heard the excitement he was trying to hide in his voice.
Wednesday, July 23
758 seconds. "A 26% increase!" This is the first evidence he is aware of other, non-Minesweeper programs on his computer.
Tuesday, July 29
Today I walked into my boss' office and casually offered my services in the war against the evil empire that plants mines in grids on our computers. He gave me a weird look - I walked out, satisfied.
Wednesday, July 30
Although my boss didn't agree to my offer, I have decided to join the battle. It is my duty to this place to rid our computers of all unsafe quadrants. (I can't even tell if I am joking anymore.)
Thursday, August 21
I have been having dreams. I try to work on my drawings, but soon find that my desktop has been littered with mines by the enemy. I asked Andy if he ever has dreams about this. "All the time," he said. War is a stressful time.
Wednesday, August 27
My boss has made it clear that my skills are not needed in the Great Minewars, he has suggested that maybe I should focus on the job I was hired for. Maybe he is right.