I'm just a regular guy who sees the soul-crushingly mundane and yearns for something more. I'm tried of the rampant materialism, the pestilence and deceit, the emptiness that permeates modern society, this bourgeoisie quagmire.
You see it everywhere...people living out an empty existence: selling the minutes and hours that add up to their lives at work, and buying material riches as consolation prizes. They are always waiting: waiting in line, waiting in traffic, waiting to eat, waiting for the bus. They bow instinctively to any authority that presents itself: employers, the media, God, the State. They live in a herd: a herd of scared animals that will turn on anyone it doesn't recognize as it's own. You must comply with the herd, or endure their spit and scorn.
Am I the only one who sees all this and feels a stab of...what? I don't know whether I want to help these people, or if I hate them for being so submissive, so mindless. Maybe I've watched Fight Club too many times.
I often look around and realize just how messed up the world is. Countless miles of concrete have replaced fields and forests. Roads intended to connect us with the rest of the world only lead to more roads, and now there is nothing left to see. Our artificial lights glow coldly and outshine the stars. In cities choked with pollution, skyscrapers stand as great urban gravestones for a world that no longer exists.
Sometimes I feel the past and the future pressing so hard on either side that there's no room for the present at all. I want to feel alive, instead of merely existing. I want to take the pursuit of meaning and joy in my life upon my own shoulders, instead of pushing my instincts and desires into cages: for there is no cage large enough to accommodate the human soul in all its flights, all its heights and depths.
I often seek places free of white noise where I can contemplate and think for myself, rather than react to store-bought stimuli. Inevitably I am often alone, so most people would mistake me as a lonely person, but this is not loneliness, rather a gentle solitude. I feel most alive when I'm doing something creative. Writing stories, reading, taking a photograph, playing guitar...if I could, I'd spend every waking moment doing these things. Even though mine are stories that few people read and songs that few people hear, the satisfaction I feel far outshines a paycheck from some corporation.
We can't buy back the time we lose, so it is up to all of us to take back the freedom in our lives.