I just went to wal-mart. Sam Walton's American Utopia, and my favorite "superstore".

Apparantly after midnight... all the 'recycled citizens' go to work here. These are people that live a somewhat normal life during the times that normal people know them...but afterhours, they put on a little blue apron and consort with the ever bouncing, price-reducing, smiley face. Only as i observed them, they werent so bouncy as they were just plain creepy. I felt a slightly embarrassed, and a little more amused to witness such scenes as my 60 year old 9th grade math teacher mechanically stocking shelves, or the entirely too cheery old lady greeting you at the front entrance, that you couldn't help but ask yourself if she hadn't escaped from her nursing home bed. Is it o.k. to walk past her and not say something to someone about this situation? Should I feel guilty? I felt like I was in the twilight zone. The smile was already beginning to spread across my face. It's not everyday that I stumble across such a plethora of interestingness. :)

As I made the journey to the back where the salsa is…I came across several more interesting specimens. The guy in the frozen foods section that looks like he definitely, SURELY has to ride a harley. Was he ever out of place reshelving frostbitten tv enchilada dinners... Next isle we see The Skanky Girl who’s livin it up on the late shift because all the creepy guys give her attention in their sleep deprived state… This was truly entertainment, if I'd ever seen it.

Everyone looked like they were high on something... 70 year old men and women, 14 year old boys and girls; bound together by this common thread: the late shift at Wal-mart. It felt like some sort of bizarre, fucked up concentration camp....

And just when I thought it couldnt get any more fucked up...

I swear to GOD.

Nirvana’s Smells like teen spirit came on over the loud speaker....



I seriously stopped in my tracks and looked up to see if God was there saying. Audrey. Get out. or maybe he was just saying. Audrey. The world now revolves around you. Things that were previously so fucked up they could only happen in one of your random dreams, are now going to start happening in real life...

Whatever the case, it was at this point that I couldn’t contain my amusement with the situation any longer. I started LAUGHING.out loud. hard. it was great. I was overcome with this warm emotion. HA. I mean, this was really happening. They even came over the loud speaker and made an announcement , and yes, after they were through, they put Nirvana back on. It was like they were saying:"Yes. I know. I know. Everything is going to be alright." Gee. I love things like this. And I swear as I was walking back to check out I walked past a midget looking at an N’sync poster and I waved at her. And I was like. god damn.




I was simply giddy.

I'd give money to have that on tape :)

God bless America.

(I think)

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