This is another of those ultra hot sauces that do the rounds among the chilli head subculture. The name, of course, implies that it's furiously hot, as hell hath no fury like a woman scorned. Unfortunately, it's not very hot, and not very nice either. However, Scorned Woman is as good a name for it as any.

I shall now explain.

Scorned Woman weighs in at a rather pathetic 5,950 Scoville units, making it only marginally hotter than Tabasco sauce and a mere 3% as hot as Painmaker and a miserly 0.8% as hot as Dave's Ghost Pepper Sauce. As such, it's hardly hellishly furious. However, it is extremely sour and bitter, much like a scorned woman, and you just know that this is the sort of sauce that rings the Japanese speaking clock and leave the phone off the hook.

A glance at the ingredients table indicates why - it's mainly vinegar and water. And overwhelmingly so because also it also contains jalapenos, habaneros, tabascos, and chayote peppers, you don't taste any of these things. There's no fruitiness or suchlike, just unremitting sourness with a slight buzz. Much like how a scorned woman tastes, I'd imagine. (Make of that what you will.) To be fair if they did want to make a sauce that was more like a scorned woman, it needs to be all sugary and sweet yet suddenly ferociously hot, probably made using a combination of Aji dulce and Scotch Bonnet peppers. (Actually, that's not a bad idea... is the name Tsundere Hot Sauce taken?)

It's also very runny and also expensive, considering it's mainly watery vinegar with only a comparatively small amount of pepper pulp in it. Sorry, love, but you get the thumbs down. Now please don't ring my boss and claim you've just seen me hiring prostitutes on the company credit card. Please.

(IRON NODER 2011, 3/30)

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