Although perhaps not so traditional as Quiche Lorraine, salmon nonetheless makes a delicious filling for a quiche, especially when combined with the appropriate herbiage.

The following recipe will make a quiche for two, or for one with leftovers — quiche can be refrigerated for a few days, so long as it is not reheated more than once. You will need:

  • An eight inch shortcrust pastry base. You could buy one pre-made from a supermarket, but it will taste like cardboard.
  • Three eggs.
  • One cup double cream
  • One cup milk
  • One large handful flaked salmon. This can be made by frying or grilling a salmon steak and bashing it around slightly while it is being cooked; be sure that any skin or bone is removed before use.
  • One onion, chopped and sautéd.
  • A mix of herbs known in France as fines herbes:
    • Two teaspoons parsley, chopped.
    • One teaspoon chives, chopped.
    • One teaspoon tarragon, chopped.
    • One teaspoon chervil (cerfeuil), chopped. If you can't find chervil, use more parsley.
  • Salt and pepper, to taste.
  • No cheese. Not even a little bit. You don't need it. Put the cheese and the grater away, and don't touch them again until you're done cooking.

When scaling recipe quantities, remember that pie filling equals pi times the depth times radius squared, so a ten inch quiche will require roughly half as much filling again. This is the same principle that ensures that you always order too much pizza.

Preheat the oven to 190°C, or 170°C for a fan oven.

Break the eggs into a bowl and stir by hand, mixing in the cream and milk. Do not use an electric whisk, because you do not want the egg to be too well beaten. Add in the herbs and onion, and stir more. Finally, add in the salmon, being careful not to make it even flakier than it already is.

Once the oven is hot, pour the mix into the pastry, which should still be in its dish. The mix should fill up to the top of the crust, but not overflow. Carefully transfer the whole thing to the oven. It may be wise to place a baking sheet on a lower shelf to catch any spillage.

The quiche will take somewhere around thirty to forty minutes to cook. When it is done, prodding it with a skewer should result in no liquid seeping out. If the top starts to burn, cover with aluminium foil (shiny side down) and reduce the temperature.

Serve with salad and a girlie Italian wine. It's already well known that real men don't eat quiche, so you might as well use this as an excuse to break out that Vesuvio Bianco or even a Rosé.

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