A person with a reputation for not being able to hold his/her
alcohol. Terribly unreliable at parties, as they generally do not know how to
pace themselves. If you act as host, make sure to keep an eye on pukers, and if several pukers (or
potential pukers) are expected to show up, it may be a wise idea to invest in some kind of floor protection, or at least to roll up your favourite rugs. There are two kinds of pukers identified as of now, the
aggressive puker, and the
passive puker.
Aside from the vomiting, the aggressive puker frequently suffers other effects from the consumption of fermented beverages. These include, but are not limited to:
- Emotional outbursts: if the person is drinking to cover up a loss, or a strong feeling, you are in trouble. Not only will they throw up in the most inconvenient locations, (behind radiators and large appliances, in the sink full of ice and beer, etc.) but they will apologize profusely, scream obscenities at your neighbours, stomp around, hurt people and/or inanimate objects, or attempt to hug various partygoers (occasionally, all at the same time).
- Breaking delicate, valuable, or treasured objects: As noted in the previous point, these pukers have the tendency to fly into rages and attack objects or people with intent to damage said victim. It would be wise to hide valuable electronics, needed equipment, and plate glass windows (I mean it, really, keep these people away from windows. A large plate of easily breakable material will draw pukers like a moth to a flame)
- Otherwise embarrassing themselves, and those around them: pukers of this type are frequently struggling with their lives as it is. After having made a fool of him or herself at a party, he/she is likely to become even more isolated. While it is most certainly worth seeing these pukers in action for the sheer entertainment (especially when you are not the host) it is beneficial to all involved that they are kept under control.
The second documented type is the passive puker. Much more
docile than the aggressive, this type of puker tends towards being
introspective. Passives can be identified by two
characteristics.
- Silence: The passive will withdraw further and further from others with the more drink he or she imbibes, becoming lost in thoughts and memories. While infinitely easier to control than the aggressive puker, the passive is not the ideal person to drink with, as he or she has a tendency to drag down the spirits of the drunken revelers around them.
- Acceptance: Because of the withdrawn state, a passive puker is likely to agree to any plans being made, simply out of lack of interest in the surrounding people and environment. A passive puker will always use the fewest possible words in response to a question.
The difficulty with passives is in not
identifying them early enough, and indeed, it is difficult. Because passives do not behave drunkenly (as they prefer to sit in one location), their occupation as
party puker may not be recognized until it is too late, and your favourite sofa sports a permanent
foul stain.
If this message can save one person's well-loved woven materials, then this painstaking research will not have been in vain.