"This Prospectus is an Investment Opportunity unparalleled in recent years, with a profit margin that you will not believe!"
"Zombies?" Bill rolls his eyes.
"As you know, the Baby Boomers are a rich source of addicted people, many of whom now are Burnt Out Husks (hereafter and henceforth to be termed "Zombies", including but not limited to Burnt Out Addict Husks on Alcohol, Methamphetamines, Cocaine, Heroin, Opioids, Psilocybe cubensis, LSD, Spice, Crack, Crank and Krokodil, as well as any and all other addictive substances excluding tobacco.)
"Hmmmmm." Says Bill.
"Zombies are becoming a placement issue for families, nursing homes, jails, hospitals and county and state governments. Having torched their brains to Burnt Out Husk, they are also still addicted and continue to refuse inpatient or outpatient treatment and still choose to remain on one or more addictive substances."
"Very interesting!" says Steve.
"Cities have addressed alcoholism on occasion with Alcohol Homes, where irredeemable drunks are given a small apartment and allowed to drink themselves to death. While not a popular program aesthetically, it is practical and reduces the number of drunks staggering around downtown and local parks.
Nursing homes are finding that Burnt Out Husks are more likely to attack staff in the throes of withdrawal, and it is of course illegal to ply patients with crank or meth. L & I injuries and cases are on the rise, completely legitimate, and the Zombie Burnt Out Husks endanger normal geriatric dementia patients, as well as frightening families visiting more traditional nursing home long term residents. Plus the Zombie visitors, particularly of Zombies who still have money, tend to offer illegal drugs not only to the Zombies, but residents, visitors and staff."
"I think this is very timely!" says Steve.
"Therefore we propose Zombie Hospice House, for End Stage Care for your Addict Loved One. Staffing was a difficulty to be surmounted by using less Zombied Addicts. As you well know, there are addicted hospital staff, nurses, physicians and administrators. There is no shortage of talented and trained staff, who understand the addiction mind set quite clearly.
For the comfort of Visiting Family, there will be a main floor, with non-Addict staff and carefully kept rooms that Zombies will be ushered to when Family is visiting. The floors above the main floor will be decorated for the comfort of our Zombie Hospice Patients: proposals for different floors include Crack House, Cave, Woodland, City Grate (with air conditioning), Tent City and many others. All Zombies will be searched prior to meeting Family so as not to shoot up in front of them and all Zombie Visitors will have a separate entrance, with a Crack House stairwell to the second floor.
The Crematorium next door is an optional and added feature. We are studying Crack Houses near to cemeteries in order to increase efficiency."
"Steve, go away." says Bill
"Bill, I said I'd haunt you." says Steve. "And you should invest in this."
"Please contact us for further details. Thank you very much for your time."
for We All Float Down Here: The 2017 Halloween Horrorquest