A Spicy Non-meat Treat

Or, Potato: Feast or Famine?

Some folks go starch raving mad when they see food. --anonymous

Potato Seeds are Mentally Planted.

When I was frozen food manager a while back as my life's second career, I stocked latkes (shredded potatoes formed into patties). Sometimes people would ask me for frozen shredded potatoes, but we only carried 'hash browns' or 'potatoes O'Brien' (which would inspire me to go into my Father Flanaghan accent while stocking them). (And, no relation to Conan.) But, they were over the aisle, don't ask me why, in the meat department. I made up this recipe based on imagination, so whatever differences or similarities with other traditional recipes is strictly for the birds.

Spontaneous Inspiration

A bag of spuds, --probably Russets-- sits on my kitchen floor (used to keep them in the fridge and then a cabinet, but now they have become a strange culinary indoor lawn ornament. My wife implored me to make breakfast, since in fairness she had been preparing many other meals lately, and we do share.

It popped into my consciousness just like the hairy blue mold that likewise appears on the skins of potatoes that I would not make hash browns, pancakes and eggs, but if I combined them I could make something like what I perceived to be Latkes. Not quite what I envisioned as potato pancakes, but more like crab cakes without the grouchy crustacean.

Follow Me Into the Kitchen

I realized even just making an adequate meal for two, I would need to get handy measuring cups and spoons and some ingredients:

Get outta kitchen 'n shake those pots and pans. --Bill Haley

Now, it is time for the other utensils grab a:

If You Can't Stand the Heat (And don't wanna eat) Get Out of the Kitchen

Getting Started

Grab a couple of them babies from Idaho or Maine (or Canada) and run 'em under the sink, scrubbing any dirt and other ooglies off the skin. Cut any 'eyes' out (they're poisonous), or dark spots (who knows what that is), but, keep the skins (it's where the nutritional goodies are).

KP Duty

Shred the potatoes (Cuisinart or Wal-Mart method) into a microwavable bowl. Now place in the microwave for 3 minutes. (Of course, if you have another way of pre-cooking the potatoes, on stovetop or oven, that'll work, too.)

Let's put the heat on medium high, pour in some oil, and put a slice of butter in too. Singing the old song, "you have to break some eggs to make an omelette" you do just that. This will be in a bowl that contains the par-cooked potatoes. Now, add the flour, garlic, spices, more butter and honey; and mix well.

Pour a couple (my recipe made four altogether) of two inch globs on the hot pan and before the bottom burns flip it carefully, pressing the pattie to make sure the egg in the middle is cooked (we don't want any E2 tort reform because of Salmonella.) When dark golden brown, and one is safely assured it is cooked through, put on a plate and top with a dab of butter --serve.

My wife, who does not hesitate to criticize in a heartbeat, declared them delicious. I thought they were neither potatoey, eggy, nor pancakey, but were like some benign sausage patty, quite tasty, if I am allowed to say so myself.

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