Do you remember Dragon's Lair? The cartoon Laserdisc game where you led Dirk the Daring on a quest to rescue Princess Daphne. Well to understand "Plumbers Don't Wear Ties" you must first understand Dragon's Lair.

Dragon's Lair featured beautiful Don Bluth animation and awesome sound. But unfortunately the game itself basically consisted of watching a movie, and pressing the controller the right direction at the right time, or else you would die.

Now "Plumbers Don't Wear Ties" is another "watch the movie and make choices" game for the 3DO. This one has you guiding John on his quest to "get some" from Jane.

Ok, now I have you up to speed on Dragon's Lair and Plumbers Don't Wear Ties. Now lets look at the differences, since they are pretty much the same game at first glance.

The only thing that made Dragon's Lair even mildly challenging was the fact that you had to properly time your moves. Well, they took that away for Plumbers. You got to choose your movements at your leisure from an on screen menu, and unlike Dragon's Lair, the scenes always appeared in the same order, so there were no surprises.

In Dragon's Lair one wrong move would cause you to lose your life then and there, but in "Plumbers" one wrong move might cause you to lose your life as much as 20 minutes later. Making you go back and "play" from the point where you messed up.

Dragon's Lair had wonderful smooth animation from the top animators in the business. Plumbers, on the other hand, had no animation, instead it was a slide show of cheap looking photos with a poorly recorded audio background.

Dragon's Lair had a hot babe (Daphne) who was animated, while Plumbers had a hot babe (Jane, played by Jeanne Basone former "GLOW" wrestler whose shining moment was an uncredited part in Basic Instinct) who was a real life person. Frankly the animated girl was far more interesting.

So basically "Plumbers Don't Wear Ties" is Dragon's Lair stripped of everything that made it even remotely interesting. The actual gameplay is maddeningly inane. It basically consists of watching incredibly long slideshows and then making decisions, all the while wondering how to turn off the nudity censor. I must have played through this game 50 times trying to figure out how to remove the nudity censor (the manual hinted that it could be done, but didn't mention how, and this was before normal people had the Interweb, so I couldn't exactly look it up on Google or anything).

This game is so bad that it isn't even laughably bad, it is just painful. The only thing even remotely interesting was trying to turn off the nudity censor (up, down, right, left, down, right, X while Jane is talking during the intro), but even doing that will only allow you to see John's ass (gee thanks), and part of a nipple.

So basically, don't buy this game, don't play this game, don't even think about this game. In fact, don't even read this node.

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