for Fujibayashi Kyou

 

I'm sitting in my sunbent floor with
nothing in my arms
Waiting for a sign that you're not here

In the constancy of betterness with
no masks on my door, from
Festivals of nightcats reappeared

Shaken AM radios and
bay leaves in the tea
A few more childhoods quietly slip away

He couldn't love my sister and could
not relax for me
His choice was something else I could not make

I broke down on the tennis court, we
all have our own wounds

But I had grown so weak from being strong

My sister was apologizing, we
cried inside our arms

The summer's nearly here and you're not gone

 

originally drafted February 2014
has tormented the hell out of me ever since

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