"Is that a pig?"
"In matters of human language, I must default to you. But I was under the impression that it is a pig."
It was a pig.
"Did you turn it into a superintelligent cyborg?"
"Again, I am not qualified to determine which words apply. However, he does have electronics linked to his nervous system, and this does make him roughly equivalent to me in intelligence."
He had turned it into a superintelligent cyborg.
"That might not be.... entirely socially acceptable."
"I have informed him of human social norms. To the extent that I understand them myself."
"That's not the problem. I'll write up an essay on the subject. In the meantime, you might as well do a practical experiment. Take him with you this morning. It can't be worse than the pineapple incident."
He frowned, which he accomplished by drawing back his antenna. "Do you think that it might be that bad? I don't want to disturb the police again."
"I wouldn't think so. There'll probably be nothing worse than the usual nutcases yelling that you're an abomination against nature, and perhaps a few tomatoes thrown."
"I think I'd like that," said the pig.
"Everyone was quite calm. Many people wanted to pose for pictures, and some children petted us. There were the reporters, of course, so we may become villains once the people have been told what to think." Sometimes Bole can be wonderfully sarcastic. It's probably unintentional.
"No tomatoes, then? Maybe next time."
"Actually, we stopped for cinnabons," said the pig, "I've never had them before, and I much prefer them to tomatoes."
"Unfortunately," interjected Bole, "humans rarely throw cinnabons."
I handed him my essay on why spurious genetic experiments involving anthropomorphic food animals might not be popular with the American public.
"Excellent. I shall read this immediately after I write up my impressions of this morning's experiences."
Later, reading about Bole's morning adventures, I learned that he was particularly enraptured by the laser tag arena. Apparently the pig had not been interested, so he was planning on bringing a group of fellow exoterrans to try it out. They were going to have cinnabons and then shoot at the local youth. Definitely time to write another explanatory essay.
In the meantime, I should get to know the latest addition to the anthropology department.
"Not a fan of laser tag, then?"