Picking a zit

Way back when I was in high school, I took a speech class with a bunch of other geeks. Somehow the enrollment got all screwed up, and there was just one popular girl in the class- the rest of us were truly geeks. For her explanatory speech, she gave a rousing demonstration of how to pick a zit. I was really not paying attention... I was blessed with clear skin in high school and thought you weren't supposed to pick anyway, that it would infect your pores and you'd end up with a bright red raspberry on your face letting everyone else in the world know you'd tried (and failed) at picking a zit.

Anyway, Barb (that was her name) was standing up in front of the class and explaining about sebaceous glands and the difference between whiteheads and blackheads and how to actually pick a zit without backing up crap into your face. I was reminded of this when my boyfriend, my sister, her husband and I were talking about the habits mothers seem to have of doing a biopsy on any blemish found on a child... my mother still picks at my sisters' ears with hairpins. Later that night, I realized that Barb was the only popular girl in that class.

I then became aware that she had probably given that speech in order to somehow shame all of us geeks in the class.

I'm glad it didn't work.

Materials:

• A few clean squares of toilet paper
• A pin
• Face wash or soap
• A towel
• A lighter
• Rubbing alcohol
Method:
1. Wash your face using your regular face wash. Dry it off with a clean towel (one of the most effective ways to get rid of mild acne is to simply ensure you have a clean towel at all times. Honest.)
2. Take your pin (use the skinniest pin you can find, assuming you don't want a huge hole in your face) and sterilise it using your lighter. Then wipe the pin off with a clean square of toilet paper, ensuring that there isn't any black stuff left on the tip (otherwise you'll end up with a tattoo).
3. Pour some rubbing alcohol into a small dish, or just use the cap of the bottle. Then let your pin sit in it for a while (just to be safe).
4. While your pin is in the alcohol, dip your towel in some hot water and hold it to the pimple. This will draw all the pus up to the top of the pimple. When the towel gets cold, wet it again. Keep doing this for about five to ten minutes.
5. Take your pin out of the alcohol and shake it dry. After making sure everything is completely dry, take your pin and carefully make a small hole in your pimple, right in the spot where you think there is the most pus. This will give the pus an exit point, and will be less likely to cause scarring.
6. Pop the zit.
7. If the zit doesn't pop after two or three tries, put some rubbing alcohol on it, forget about it and go to bed. If you really can't keep your hands off it, dab a little aloe vera gel on it. 80% of the time, you'll wake up the next day with a giant new whitehead just begging to be burst.