"Philip Glass Buys a Loaf of Bread" is a one-act play by David Ives, published as part of his 1994 "All In The Timing" collection. It was first produced at the Manhattan Punch Line Theatre in New York City in January 1990. The basic setting is that composer Philip Glass is buying a loaf of bread when two women enter the bakery and one of them recognizes him. Except for brief spoken parts at the beginning and end, the bulk of the play is sung by the actors playing the women, Glass, and the male baker, and sung in what the printed play describes as "Philip Glass-like rhythms" a la Einstein on the Beach. For anyone familiar with Glass' work, this renders it absolutely hilarious. The printed play does not do it justice unless you can read music from the score at the back.

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