He's sweet, he's come-hither, he's whispering laughingly into my ear and haunting my dreams. Then I take one appreciative sideways glance at C++, and now I can't remember how to check if a variable is null. Now he's stormy grey, going out with my best friend, calling up to yell at me when he gets drunk, telling my little foibles to all of our mutual friends. He's making me almost want to swear off coding and go to that dark side of binary-only, vendor-supplied solutions. What's a girl to do?

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