Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof is the daughter of Boomtown Rat and errant messiah Robert Frederic Zenon 'Bob' Geldof, and his former wife, Paula Yates (now deceased); sister of Fifi Trixibelle and Little Pixie (who was apparently named after a character in a satirical Private Eye cartoon, lampooning her older sisters' names) and half-sister of Heavenly Hiraani Tiger Lily Huchence, daughter of Yates and Michael Hutchence. She was born in March 1989, and is 17 at the time of writing.
She has penned columns for ELLEGirl Magazine and the Daily Telegraph, including a famous attack on television style gurus Trinny and Susannah, presented documentaries on teenagers in Britain and Islam (for which she spent two weeks with an Muslim family in Morocco (other episodes of the series had a Sikh comedian studying Scientology, actor Paul Nicholls studying Hinduism, and comedian Johnny Vegas learning about Chirstian fundamentalism)), is one half of DJ outfit "the Trash Pussies", was 7 in Tatler's list of fashion icons for 2006, and, for these reasons, is something of a teen icon in the UK, especially amongst girls - some of her fans even perceive her as the voice of their generation. She is somewhat conservative in this role, speaking out against the drug-abuse and binge drinking of modern Britsh teens. She even supports George Bush and the War in Iraq - possibly because Tony Blair backed her Dad during the first Band-Aid campaign?
Some have said, however, that there are many teenagers of her age (such as me) of equal, or greater, talent, who will not acheive such things as they do not have a famous dad. As with all celebrities, there have been rumours spread about her; including that she pinched Pete Doherty's bottom before his performance at Live8, which he said was the cause of his poor performance, an accusation she denies. The tabloids have selected her as the latest member of the roll of immoral celebs; and tales of Peaches' wild partying, diva-like behaviour and sexual immorality are guaranteed titillators of the sanctimonious classes of the Sussex suburbs.
The biggest rumour of all, however, is that her name is as it appears at the top of the page. It is in fact Peaches Honeyblossom Geldof - Michelle, Charlotte, Angel and Vanessa are fake names. So why does the fake version of her full name have four times as many Google hits as the real version? Why do IMDb, Wikipedia, BBC Celebdaq, Ananova, the Daily Mail and a host of other newspapers and magazines list her with the fake middle names? Here's why.
Back in 2005, iis had finished his GCSEs and was volunteering in a local primary school for his Duke of Edinburgh's Award. He had just recently discovered the delights of Wikipedia, and it's plethora of information, had performed his test edit and had been smacked in the face, as so many before him had been smacked in the face, with the revelation that "Wow! So ANYONE can edit it!". He'd had his fun with some petty vandalism and page blanking, and had got scared by his first warning messages. With more spare time now, he had created an account and began to contribute his (15) years of experience to the project.
But, wondered iis, would it be possible for false information, if believable enough, to slip under the radar of the watchful Wikipedians who scanned new edits for vandalism? How long could such an edit last? Might the false information even spread? Something about the petty anarchy of the scheme appealed to him, and he added the names Michelle and Charlotte to the article on Peaches Geldof. Hey, maybe the girl could do with some more normal names - his own parents had been bohemian and somewhat avant garde in regards to nomenclature. (His own moniker, though unusual for one of his age, is now one of the most popular new baby names he sees).
Fast forward several months, to September, on the first day of Sixth form, when old friends shared stories of summer experiences. iis told ao7hin, another Wikipedia convert, that his edits to the Peaches article had gone unnoticed after three months. ao7hin, unnable to resist the fun, added the names Angel and Vanessa. A few months later, an eagle-eyed editor spotted the vandalism and reverted the article back to Peaches Honeyblossom Geldof. iis and ao7hin forget all about it.
That is, until, iis was reading the Daily Mail, a popular tabloid, when he turned the page, and in great black letters, was the headline 'So, Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof, why do you hate your name?' The rest of the article described how Peaches had been complaining, in her ELLEGirl column, of the habit for celebrities to bestow their offspring with rather daft labels (other examples provided included Zowie Bowie, and Frank Zappa's Moon Unit.) That wasn't important though. What mattered was that iis had gotten words in print. He'd renamed Bob Geldof's daughter! Too gibberish with excitement to explain to his family, he logged onto the 'net to see what was what.
Only two matches could be found on Google - the online version of the Mail article, and some small fansite. Wikipedia had removed Peaches' middle names over a month ago, so some hack (Nicole Lampert, (the article's writer) possibly, who incidentally was also up for a British Press Award) must have downloaded the misinformation into their brain in the interim. iis is not aware of how newspaper fact-checkers check their facts, but wonders why they didn't check this one, or, if they did, what source they had used. The comments were a riot, with many wondering why she didn't use one of her more normal middle names.
Most magazines and newspapers keep track of each other's stories, (I believe scoop is the jargon) and the story soon spread; iis and ao7hin watched the page count on Google for 'Peaches Honeyblossom Michelle Charlotte Angel Vanessa Geldof' climb daily from two, to six, to twenty eight; then, after a two day lull, to over two hundred, and then into the thousands. The meme had been established. The fake names have returned to her Wikipedia article, sourced (and, since the source originally used Wikipedia as a reference, might show how a 'truth' can gain legitimacy by recursion, by strange loops of authority in a rhizomatic society), and she has been called by those names in an interview with Richard and Judy.
So that is iis and ao7hin's claim to fame; four fake names bestowed to a celebrity's child. Considering that a cynical soul might have the temerity to say that Ms Geldof is famous for only one of hers, one might even consider it something of an achievement.
Editor's note: Peaches Geldof died April 7, 2014, at the age of 25. She is survived by her husband Thomas and two children.
Update: On a recent episode of Big Brother's Little Brother (the commentary show for the UK's number one reality TV show, Big Brother), the presenter Dermot o'Leary introduced Peaches as "Peaches Honeyblossom Charlotte Angel Geldof"; to which she interjected with "Not my real name!" Dermot (perhaps wisely) told her to "shut up".