Wake up, not knowing where we are now. There's some left over shame from last night, did you drag that with you? Usually, I'm the culprit of distasteful verbal exchange, and I humour myself. And you'd be smiling. Isn't that completely unacceptable?
I don't know now. I fidget in my sleep, your bare back lurking against my sheets, straining to calm without my thoughts penetrating. I'm worse for the night.
Only with your voice, I can close my eyelids, heavy. Warm breath on my ear, whispering nonchalant. It's going to be ok. I kicked out the monsters under our bed.
All we want to hear and nothing we can listen to. A simple wish, a desire to leave you hanging on the cliff of my heart. Hear my eyes speak wistfully on your neck, behind ears, through ruffled hair, smothered dreams on your pillow. Holding your lips in, feeding on your breath, so I can last my own wicked noises of fear. Tossing about in bed, waking you up.
Weary shoulders, hands rubbing against face. I am already up, like a kitten wandering about on blankets, purring for food. 3 am? You want to eat now?
I am all smiles.
Now, you're getting up and about, pouring me a lukewarm glass of water, cutting a slice of bread, chocolate. Anything that will soothe me. I am cradled by arms, lost in a universe of sleepy kisses and crumbs with stains piling up, tripping off the corner of this bed. My legs curled up beneath me, staring without effort at a nook in the room. You notice my glass, now empty, thusly guiding me back under our blanket. Stay.
Feet on the floor, light on in the bathroom, doors creaking. Me, full of anticipation and awaiting your return, hearing the last few crumbs moving with my feet.
Lights out, and then, your knee up to my thigh, an arm across my chest, and sighs as you relax. In the dark, my eyes smile even more. This time around, I no longer wake you. Instead, I fall silent, listening. The breadcrumbs are talking about us, barely a sound I can hear. You’re snoring in the background, and even further off, somebody's playing the radio.
I crawl deeper into blankets, arms and a chest steadily rising and falling. Listening to your voice, when you're not even aware of speaking, I fall asleep.