Since 1896, the Onion News Network has been one of the major sources of high quality internet video news. Its well respected anchors, correspondents and pundits take great pride in the journalism they do. Not only do they break the news but the provide a venue for news and media analysts to discuss meaningful issues and also have relevant coverage of the latest activity in Congress. And of course have 24 affiliate networks branching off. Easily the most widely viewed news channel in the world OnionNN provides us all with unparalleled media excellence.

All jokes aside, the Onion News Network is a recent addition to The Onion, the satirical coupon sheet turned national satirical sheet(having lost the coupon endorsements). Employing a number of quite deadpan actors as fake news agents they have supplied the internet with entire minutes worth of humor. Every week a new video or two comes out using the flash streaming media format popularized by YouTube. This steaming fresh satire is heaped onto the front page of the Onion in the middle of the week, since April 2007. So far, as of the writing of this node, there have been 53 videos. Each is about 1.5 minutes to 2.5 minutes long, and contains the kernel of Onion satire.

Top News/Breaking News

These stories are usually so important they can put off writing a column for the day and place them directly on the lead story section. Brandon Armstrong, Michael Bannon and others bring use such interesting news fodder such as: "Use of N-word may end porn star's career," "Gays too precious to risk in combat," and "Domestic abuse no longer a problem, say bruised female researchers." These stories are spiritual brothers to the stories presented week-daily on the front page of the site, along with the In The Know Segments. Other segments are posted later in the week and are not so prominent.

In The Know

A round table discussion with well informed pundits and analysts who come together to talk about the relevant issues. Hosted by the perpetually unavailable Clifford Banes, as such usually hosted by Julianna McCannis. A panel of regular and irregular faces are available to talk about and offer opinions on the latest news. Whether it's Umaru Yar'Adua's election or the growing gap between the Rich and the Super Rich, major social issues are addressed on this hard hitting two and a half minute program.

Onion Span

The Onion there is in fact the Onion trademark symbol. There are actually two segments here. Live from Congress, which gives full coverage of legislative activity, and US Department of Lost and Found, which gives a review of some of the latest items in our nation's lost and found depository. Live from Congress segments are easily the driest satire I've ever seem. Accomplishing both the full pretentious legal stuffiness of actual congressional prose while at the same time managing to put into that prose some of the most amusing content I've heard. The 2007 Skullfucking bill, for instance, in which a 60-70 something year old actor says the phrase Skullfucking as many times as he possibly can.

The US Department of Lost and Found is amusingly random. The amusement is derived from the fact that a national program is being used to try and get small personal items back to their owners. Not hilariously amusing, but the production is so precisely on target that you can almost imagine that it is real. You can practically hear some humorless bureaucrat somewhere saying, "hey, what a neat idea!" before he goes back to sorting his pocket lint chronologically.

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