Ironically, brassmule set up this nodeshell for me to fill. It just so happens that after a trip to NYC, mkb introduced me to a most wondrous place called the Republic Family Restaurant, a truck stop off Rte 95 on the RI/CT border. The first time there I wasn’t paying enough attention to the dispenser on the wall, but knowing I would pass by it on my way back from Nawlins, I made a point of visiting there with a pocket full of quarters. This is one big happy random assortment of trucks-stop trinkets:

Love Drops: Love Drops Will Flavor Your Lovemaking Experience; Delicious; For Lovers Only. Directions for use: Apply to those erotic body areas on you or your lover for a sensuous tasty treat, that will stimulate, arouse and add a tingle of pure pleasure.

Tear-Off: Guaranteed To Get A Reaction, Tear-Off Can’t Be Torn; If She Can’t And She Can’t Maybe You Can; She’ll Love You All The More For The Joy Of Tear-Off; One Tear-Off Is Worth A Thousand Words; No Conversation Necessary Do What Comes Naturally; Get Tear-Off If You’re A Lover; Ask Her To Tear Off A Piece Of Tear-Off. Inside, one 3” x 2’ piece of paper that is printed: If You’re In The Mood For SEX KEEP THIS CARD & SMILE. If You’re Not in the Mood TEAR THIS CARD UP. I JUST DARE YOU TO TEAR IT UP.

Aroma’s Sheer Thin: 4 Delicious Scents; Strawberry · Banana · Vanilla · Spearmint; Each Condom Is Electronically Tested To Assure You The Finest Quality; One Lubricated Latex Condom; Made In India; Each Aromas Condom Meets Or Surpasses U.S. And International Standards. Each AROMAS Scented Condom is 52mm in width and individually tested for reliability and safety to meet all U.S. standards. CAUTION: This product contains natural rubber latex which may cause allergic reactions. *

SCREAMER: Not For The Timid; With Or Without A Condom; Made in Korea; Sold As A Novelty. Contains: One rubber studded cock ring.

DE LUBE: Intimate Gel: Vanilla Flavored Personal Lubricant With Ginseng For Increased Sensitivity; Intensify Your Sensations; Water Based Formula.

TEENIE WEENIES: Tickle Her Fancy; Sexual Satisfaction; Novelty Midget Teenie Weenie Tickler; The Perfect Gift For The Man Who Has Very Little. To Use Teenie Weenies Place On Forefingers And Tickle Her Fancy!

Taboo Tattoos: His And Hers; 4 Different Sets Collect Them All; Temporaty Removable Tattoos; Create A New You. Instructions For Use: Using A Sciscors, Cut Out Tattoo That You Wish To Apply, Remove Protective Sheet From This Tattoo Only · Press Firmly On Clean, Dry Skin, Tattoo Side Down · Wet Back Thouroughly With Sponge Or Cloth · Wait 10-20 Seconds, Then Carefully Peel Off Backing, Rinse And Let Dry · Remove With Alcohol

Birth Control Pill: Do Not Open Until Ready For Use. Directions: Female should place pill on inside of right knee and hold in place with left knee applying steady pressure. This method of birth control provides guaranteed results with no dies effects. Contains: One Valentine’s Day Candy Heart with the letters B.C.P. stamped on it.

Peter Meter: Household Necessity; You May Be A Winner; Know Your Strength; Girls: No need to guess – Now you can get the facts; Get One Today. The Peter Meter is measured in inches and broken down into 1/8” increments.

0: Should Have Been A Girl
0-1: Just A Water Spout
1-2: 95 Percent Imagination
2-3: Seen Better Days But Not Much
3-4: Just a teaser
4-5: Woman S Home Companion
5-6: Secretary’s Delight
6-7: For Large Girls And Small Cattle
7-8: Home Wrecker Size
8-9: For Bar Room Betting Only
9-12: He Man WOW! 12 Inches

* Strangely, the AROMAS Scented Condom comes with a $1.00 rebate offer: To receive your $1.00 rebate, send a self addressed, stamped envelope along with (2) original rebate coupons to: EAGLE TWE, PO Box 23, Department B, Avondale Estates, GA 30002.

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