So I’m on Reddit and I see a post that’s like “Is it just me or does every Transbian sleep with three or more plushies?” And I look to my left – there’s a big stuffed duck. I look to my right – there’s a big stuffed orangutan. I look behind me -- there’s a big stuffed bear. Alright, so I feel a little called out.

But, you know what, I think it’s great, to sleep with a big stuffed animal. Because you can wrap your arms around it, and it doesn’t mind if you toss and turn. In fact it never says a dang word, and you don’t have to listen to it snore. Folks, you ought to get one of these for yourself. Got a bed partner already? Not anymore! Kick em out of bed and get yourself a big old stuffed animal. “Sorry, honey, I’m replacing you with a bear.” “Oh you don’t like twinks anymore, is that it? Four years and this is what I get, to be replaced by a big hairy guy? Where is he?” “No, I mean an actual bear.”

Get yourself a big bear. Get yourself the biggest bear. Get the giant bear that they sell at Costco. You know the one. The one that’s eight feet tall and probably weighs eight hundred pounds. That one. The one that makes you wonder how anyone gets it home. Nobody knows how they get the thing home. I don’t, you don’t. You do? Fine, bring it on home. Back the truck up to the garage and then wait for them to toss it down on you. WHAM! And then slowly drag it across the yard to the door, open the door, stuff it through the door, and leave it sitting in the front hall, because that’s your bed now. That thing ain’t never getting all the way upstairs.







Kidding aside, if I had to take a wild guess about the plushies I'd say that it's directly related to how much I see trans people complaining about Touch Starvation. When nobody's given you a hug in years, wrapping your arms around a big stuffed animal is a hell of a drug.

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