Ol' Dirty Kung Fu

Do you think Bruce Lee is just a big showoff? Is Jackie Chan too much comedy and not enough action for you? Did you think Drunken Wu Tang made a little too much sense? Well, have I got the movie for you!

We start out with a guy trying to hang himself because his daughter is being forced to marry. Next a bum falls out of a tree and turns out to be the famous Kung Fu master Bamboo Stick. Next we go to the wedding of the guy who tried to kill himself's daughter, who is marrying a man dressed up in a bridal gown. At this point, Bamboo Stick opens up a can of whoop ass and kills some people, one of whom happens to be the son of his old rival.

Of course, the evil bad guy whose son was just killed is a little unhappy, so he kidnaps Bamboo Stick's student Quan Chen Chi. See, fighting doesn't solve all problems, sometimes kidnapping is required.

After Quan Chen Chi escapes, a different movie is apparently spliced in, which entails a lot of random ass kicking. Near the end of this movie, we switch back to the original movie, where Quan Chen Chi is killed by the bad guy and his Iron Head.

Of course, Bamboo Stick is unhappy by this, but he is also defeated. He is brought back to health by some guy who he then teaches Kung Fu to. When this guy goes to fight the bad guy, he defeats him by blinding him with noodle batter.

Okay, I gotta say this... If you've followed some of my bad movie reviews, you've probably noticed I have a bit of a self abusive tendency to watch horrible movies. But, this one is bad. This is one of the few ones that I kinda wish I hadn't seen. So, don't go see this unless you really hate yourself. Really, Drunken Wu Tang is a lot more entertaining...