This morning my room is a mess
I have clean clothes mixed with dirty clothes and a fresh coffee stain on the carpet. I have hair products and accessories all along the floor and papers decorating every inch of space. And my bed isn't made.
I called my soulmate at 7:15 for our morning babble and we talked about our dreams. I told him he would have a good day today and before we said bye I told him about the white light surrounding his body, That's my way of protecting him.
He seems to be a little lethargic lately, because of the tumble that's my life lately. Only the personal side, but on the professional side everything is going as it should in my opinion. I've already mastered all the skills and techniques I need to get ahead and I'm reaching a point where my future is really clear. My relationships with my parents are breaking up amid this. I feel like they are holding me back too much. They think I should feel obligated to help them run the family restaurant with no benefits on my part. When I bailed on them to spend time alone at the cottage with my boytoy my mother exploded at me when I phoned her and said:
"What have you forgotten how to help me? If you don't want to help me then I won't help you. Fine Jessica do what ever you want."
She clearly didn't understand. I don't feel guilty because I didn't do anything wrong. My parents can't expect me to work for them without a wage. When she says I wont help you anymore she means she won't drive me to my boyfriends house who lives 20 minutes away and is an impossible walk or bus ride. That's as much as she can threaten me with... but as my parent I don't understand why she feels like keeping me happy is a favor, especially when it's hardly going out of her way. There are multiple occasions where when we drive near his house and I can just walk there. Her only responsibility would be to pick me up at night and take me home. It's not too much to ask so I hope she doesn't make things deliberatly hard for me. I told her that I would be there for her if she needed me. That she can call at that moment and I'll be there. That's what helping is, when I'm there at a moment when you don't know what you would do without me. That's fair enough. I made it clear that I'm not happy with anything else, so deal with it! When me and my baby get our licences life will be a lot easier, and things are going to get a lot smoother from there. All of my grades are good and I feel really confident. My boyfriends mom said that I can move in with them by next summer. That means me and my baby will get to live with each other for the first time (^^). We will start paying a little rent and then we're going to the same school next year for our graduating year. By then we'll be free to do as we please without any restrictions from other people. I'm really excited and happy for then to come.
Why do people always imagine contracts?! Stop binding people to expectations and let them be themselves without imposed fear dammit give my nerves a rest.