I am at a divide of sorts.

I returned to work in April but I am still on half time and still get exhausted easily. Sunday I went to a four hour choral workshop, from 2 to 6. I went home, hugged my daughter, asked her to make dinner, and went to bed. She woke me to ask if I wanted dinner and I didn't. I slept until 5 am. Yesterday I had a doctor's appointment an hour away, across the Hood Canal Bridge. But when I got there, the doctor had cancelled because he was sick. I am rescheduled for three weeks.

Officially I don't have chronic fatigue, because chronic fatigue by definition doesn't have a known cause. This has a cause: streptococcus A. It's gone, but my lungs took six months to recover and my muscles did not work right for six and a half. And now I've been back at work since the start of April and I still get wiped out if I do a little too much.... I drove back yesterday and went to chorus. Chorus is two hours. I left after 30 minutes, muscles cramping. Rats.

I went to sleep at 7:30.

I am being a typical convalescent in that I alternate between frustration or rage that I don't feel better and oh, yeah, happy to have survived.

But my improvement is currently incremental or not at all. So something has to go. I have to cut back some activity. The question is: what?

The Band Across the Great Divide

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