Today is Thanksgiving here in the U.S., and here are the things I am thankful for:

  1. Good friends.
  2. Modern dentistry.
  3. Kitties.
  4. Good movies.
  5. Good food.
  6. That my recent job loss is giving me time to complete a bunch of projects (novel, stories, and home repairs) that were hugely stressing me out.

At a recent dental checkup, I found out I cracked a molar (likely due to clenching my teeth during stress dreams, but it was a tooth with two different fillings in it and a crack was probably inevitable over time). On 11/10, I got a temporary crown put on. I was extremely nervous during the procedure and had a bit of a panic attack early on but I focused on keeping my head very still and everything worked out fine. I go back for the permanent crown next week. Hopefully I will be a lot calmer in the chair next time.

On 11/14, I went to my day job and soon after found out I was being ejected from the employment cannon. Canned. Let go. Released back into the wild. This was not a surprise; I'd been stressing about impending job loss for over a year. Some job losses catch you completely off guard but this one was like watching a dark rider trot inexorably toward you over the vast expanse of a salt flat. While I had natural reactions of dismay -- loss of income and health insurance are difficult -- but I also felt a giddy sense of relief that finally the waiting was over. I mildly regretted that I didn't drop the hammer myself and resigned a few weeks before, but I'd hoped to hang on through the holidays.

They didn't let me go back to my desk to even get my purse; my supervisor gathered my immediate belongings, and the HR lady packed up the rest of my stuff and I returned to their offices a couple of days later to retrieve it. Because I knew this was coming, I had taken home what I thought was most of my stuff already, but I had a surprising amount left. One accrues a bit of stuff at one's desk after nearly four years at a place. A sentence I said to the HR lady: "Did you get my monkeys?" (She did.)

I have health insurance coverage until the end of the month, and am eligible for bracingly expensive COBRA after that. Health insurance is a challenge for us, as it is for many. My husband has has a chronic pain condition (reflex sympathetic dystrophy) for over a decade, and he recently lost most of the use of his left arm due to a bone spur that is compressing nerves in his neck. He needs surgery, and in the meantime he has been severely depressed and in a lot of uncontrollable pain. This has been hell for him and difficult for me; the pain has largely taken my marriage away because my husband doesn't even have the energy for conversation most of the time. I am thankful for friends who have helped with the caregiving load.

The holidays are historically difficult for me at the best of times. I am doing my very best to stay positive and productive. The irony here is that I have had a lot of work to do since I became unemployed: I have an overdue novel and several short stories to write, writing coaching, and house repairs to attend to, etc. I don't lack for work; I lack for income. I'm hopeful that if I keep plugging away and keep working that I'll find a remedy for this, too.

But for today, I and some friends are gathering at another friend's house and we're gonna eat a lot of turkey and watch Mystery Science Theatre. And I'll be thankful for what I have.

Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it! 

H A P P Y T H A N K S G I V I N G !!

Having a good day today. Thanksgiving used to always be depressing for me because for many years it was a huge celebration as my inlaws celebrated Thanksgiving like others celebrate Christmas, and I missed being a part of that. It's been so many years now that I don't get depressed on Thanksgiving anymore. Happy about that.

Hope everyone has a great, great day!

This will be short as I am trying to get back into the routine of getting to bed early, but I really missed writing so now that I have the chance I'm going to be putting my thoughts down again. Thanksgiving went pretty well despite the family argument over who voted for which candidate. I have family members who voted for both candidates as well as those who wrote in others. Everyone has the right to vote as they see fit, I don't believe that others should attack people who voted differently than they do, but there are very strong feelings on a variety of issues and it's understandable that there will be hurt feelings and sensitivity. It was good to see my family again. I'm glad I went even though I felt like staying home today.

Things have been going well at work. It's not perfect, no job ever is, but I got a raise after my review which was secondary compared to what my peers and manager wrote about me. Those comments will become part of my permanant file, and I will always love my manager for going to people who know me well enough to speak highly of the work I am doing there. Yesterday I went shopping for some warmer clothes. Our counter is directly across from the doors, there's a loop that people can make as they enter and leave the store, drafty air chills us and I've been cold at work lately so I decided warmer clothes were in order. While I was shopping I saw that the store was hiring someone for their outdoor furniture sales. Tempting, but I really like the job that I have and doubt this would pay substantially more.

I tried the online dating thing and finally ended up deleting the Tinder app. I still love the guy who has admitted he's been hurt and has to focus on himself. After a week of not talking to him and going out with other guys I decided it wasn't fair to them and gave up on all of them except for the two platonic friends that I managed to keep. I went out with one, the other one and I realize that we have no chemistry, are not each other's types if that's a thing, and enjoy being supportive friends instead of striving for a romance that we know neither of us really want. I'm grateful for these additions to my circle of friends even though one of them is an alcoholic and I don't know how to feel about that. Glad I'm not in a relationship with anyone who has chemical dependency issues, would much rather be single than deal with that.

Will try to post more later, extremely tired tonight after a long day of food I don't normally eat and some tense situations after supper. Praying that this finds you well, I've missed writing and my friends here even though I don't contribute much anymore, I still think of this place fondly, like the couch I will never get rid of simply because it's comfortable and there for me in times of crisis and celebration.



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