1. Did you message a new noder in the past 10 days? If so, how well do you think you introduced them to the site?

I've indeed sent writeup-specific messages to new noders and pointed them to the FAQ, along with a hearty welcome. Before I was a CE, I did this too, but not as often. The extent to which I mention actual instructions for using the site is writeup-specific. I try to pick one important thing and overlook the others until the new writer gets that one thing right; then we move on from there. The lessons (I prefer the term, "advice") nearly always go in this order a) HTML, b) Spelling, c) Link and Link, d) Resolving links to existing nodetitles, and, sadly, in some cases, e) English grammar and punctuation.

Did I mention that I invariably ask that new noders have wild sex parties with me at an airport hotel?

2. Did you receive any replies or messages from new users of the site? How many? What were they generally about? What was your reaction to getting contacted by these user?

Often I receive no answer. When I do, it's thanks and usually an additional question. Thanks with comments typically mention complaints about a noder or E2's complexities. I think that if I'm the only one who greets a new noder, I get the feeling that they think I'm someone special, or an authority figure; which I immediately quash by explaining that we do have volunteer Content Editors and greeting and helping is our job. I am always delighted when a user engages in dialogue; it means they'll probably stay.

Did I mention that I invariably ask that new noders have wild sex parties with me at an airport hotel? Most reject my proposal, however.

3. How did you do with communicating in general? What were your reactions (to) their comments?

About a full third of the time I communicate something, it's not understood by the new user the first time, so I must reiterate it. I guess sometimes it's hard to articulate what need be done. I blame myself; after all, the student's only as good as the teacher. My reaction to their comments is great (except for the one who said "fuck you and the whole *$#! bunch of you).

Did I mention that I invariably ask that new noders have wild sex parties with me at an airport hotel? I don't usually react well when they reject my advances. I thought I was gonna score with the one who said "fuck you" but realized it wasn't literal.

4. What kinds of things did you do to learn about helping new users out? How much content of theirs did you read before messaging them and what impression did you form about them?

I read whatever they've done so far; whether nuked or not. However, typically if something's been nuked, another CE has already intervened. In that case I only intervene if the first CE indicates a problem with communication or lack of communication. My theory is that another voice occasionally gets listened to. This has only worked twice.

Re: forming impressions, the precious little that I read usually results in me keeping an optimistic but neutral impression. It's a true delight when a new noder continues on, follows direction and we can both celebrate their success. I'm very impressed, occasionally. There was a 15-year old, don't know if he was scared away; he did improve a bit and was sharing (perhaps a little too intimately) stuff about his family. Haven't heard from him in 2-3 weeks. I was quite impressed 'cause I couldn't write like that when I was 15.

Did I mention that I invariably ask that new noders have wild sex parties with me at an airport hotel? I learned that helping new users is a pitifully unsuccessful way to persuade them to have wild sex parties with me at airport hotels..

5. What did you think about new users and how well they fit into the concept of E2?

New users, while typically not the seasoned wordsmiths we have around here now, are necessary. As a matter of fact, I'm quite new myself, having only been here a year and a half. It's up to users who've pierced the occasionally-experienced veil of cliquishness of more tenured noders to then reach a hand out and invite new users to the party. At this party, however, it's not social skills they're learning, it's writing. Without new users E2 will eventually die. Don't color me a pessimist; I'm just of the opinion re: growth that if you're not moving forward you're moving backward; there's no such thing as standing still.

Did I mention that I invariably ask that new noders have wild sex parties with me at an airport hotel? I always assume that it's easier for me to convince new users to visit airport hotels with me for the purpose of having sex than it is to convince users who already know me.

6. Why do you think they come to this site?

It appears to me that about 2/3rds of the new users I've met have an interest in writing, or a passion about a subject, and come here to write, typically about the subject they're passionate about. The other third arrive, it seems, to post a comment about a particular writeup and then flee.

Sadly, I must admit that I should keep this in mind. It wouldn't hurt to ask new users what they expect of E2, so then I'm intelligenced about how to go about either supporting them or letting them know that E2 will not live up to their requirements/expectations. I've gotta laugh; twice I've been asked if I'd help with homework assignments.

Did I mention that I invariably ask that new noders have wild sex parties with me at an airport hotel? I've sadly concluded that new users don't come to this site to have sex with strangers in airport hotels.

7. Why do you think they leave?

Many new users are young. Therefore they get bored easily. Then, of course, there are those who can't handle the learning curve and go away. One noder, our eldest (in life-years) left after she'd completed her novel, or a portion of it, and I believe longed for more affirmation of her efforts than we gave her here. Her writing was incredibly candid, so I think we did her a good service by being here for her. I don't think writing more fiction, nor factuals, is for her, though, so that's why she left.

Did I mention that I invariably ask that new noders have wild sex parties with me at an airport hotel? I sometimes think they leave because I ask them this.

8. Where do you want E2 to go?

I'm for growth, but at a moderate pace. I would be disappointed if the community of this place were disrupted by a sudden spurt in growth. From what I hear, E2 was once quite more heavily populated with active users. I think the general opinion around here is that E2's solely to blame. However, we've got a lot of competition. And there are plenty of fabulous wordsmiths out there who're writing their own blogs (and therefore "sniff" have no use for us nor our critique of their work).

Would that we wanted to go after more "E2-Friendly" people, perhaps embarking on a crass promotional invasion of somewhere like Blogspot.com would garner a few more wonderful writers.

TinyMCE, I believe, as well as interface changes, and the improved speed and reliability of the site will make it more attractive to writers. I'd like to see more writers who're my age join.

I can't even recall how I discovered E2; I think I was Googling for something and ran into a node title that I had to read. That's how I'd like people to be attracted to E2.

Did I mention that I invariably ask that new noders have wild sex parties with me at an airport hotel? I have a dream of having a wild sex party with the entire E2 noderbase. In an airport hotel.

I generally consider myself to be a reasonable person. I speak to people in a conversational tone. I don't interrupt other people's stories just to tell my own. I try to answer people's questions politely and efficiently. However, sometimes subjects come up that leave me feeling like a raving, raging stream of unrestrained ire and frustration the likes of which street preachers and schizophrenics turn their heads toward in alarm. One such subject is pants. WHY can't I get a good pair of short jeans? I'm not disfigured, I'm merely not very high!

The other is animal rights.

Don't get me wrong, I am not a fan of cruelty to animals. I don't wantonly kick puppies or beat kittens. I am, after all, majoring in fuzzy animals. I also don't go out of my way to kill less... interesting animals, though on occasion, certain things are required. But I don't anthropomorphize. I try not to think of animals the way I think of people, for the simple reason that animals are not people.

Thus begins a quick look into my long-standing ire with public misconceptions about factory farming.

Obviously, this is the time to make a blanket apology-- I am not insulting anyone, not trying to say that anyone doesn't know what they're talking about. I honestly am not. However, I do think that there is, again, a great deal of misinformation being spread to the public as a whole, and I feel honor bound to address this, to my limited ability. So here we go.


In the United States, one can generally classify chickens in to three varieties: Laying hen, Broiler breeder, and Broiler. Of these three, only two ever seem to have any issues.

Laying Hens

Laying hens are most often considered when bringing up issues of animal welfare, and not without reason. The cages are small, the conditions are somewhat unsavory, the life isn't particularly glamorous. This is being addressed in some areas; the EU recently passed a directive that requires a phase-out of standard battery cages to enriched laying cages that must be implemented by 2012. It must also be noted that this has been speculated to potentially depress the European egg market by as much as 30%.

Debeaking does occur in laying hens, though this may not be as traumatic as it sounds. First, the fact that the beak is made out of cartilage and bone has no bearing on whether or not the practice is cruel, unusual, or unjustified. Cartilage is an avascular, aneural tissue. There have been reports of neuroma formation in cases of severe beak amputation, but this is not the normal practice in most poultry operations. Beaks are trimmed (debeaking is a misnomer) using a self-cauterizing machine to limit pain and trauma. Usually, only a small portion of the beak is removed. Research has shown that these minimally invasive amputations heal quickly and will dissipate pain over time. Also, they do lead to a severe reduction in mortality due to cannibalism.

Laying hens under a capable manager are not undernourished. They are fed specially formulated rations specifically created by leading nutritionists to accommodate their reproductive needs. If the hens were starving for essential nutrients, their eggs would begin to be of extremely poor quality. They would fail to be marketed due to cracks, poor consistency, color variations, or any other number of unappetizing features. Alternately, the bird may just fail to lay, causing another economic nightmare. Though it may not be the kindest or most altruistic of reasons, birds are kept as healthy as possible to ensure output of a high-quality product that will net greatest market results. Their meat is tough, but that is due to old age. Older animals lay down more fat and less water in tissues because they are through with growing-- you don't slaughter old cows, pigs, or sheep for their meat either.

Sanitation and biosecurity are HUGE issues in the poultry industry. The inherent aroma associated with chickens is due to the ammonia content of their feces, and not necessarily because of the condition of the farm on which they are raised. Any time you put that many aromatic animals in an area, they are bound to make a stink. If a farm is squalid or contaminated, its products will come out squalid and contaminated, which makes them unsellable. Though some farms invariably fall into these categories, the vast majority necessarily do not, or we would have a lot more food poisoning cases reported every year.


In comparison to laying hens, broilers seem to get a much better rap. Though debeaking (the exact same process as above) may be used, genetics have led to a more docile bird who is afforded more space than laying hens, and therefore has less reason to revert to cannibalism. They do not live in cages, but rather in broiler houses measuring about 40 x 400 feet - 50 x 600 feet large. The research on stocking density of broilers is inconclusive: some reports state that more room will result in a larger, more productive bird. However, this does not necessarily mean that birds need more room-- you may want to live in a mansion but you can still thrive in an apartment. Birds grown at higher densities grow more consistently and have no noticeable increase in mortality or other grow out issues, in addition to being an economically feasible plan for the grower.

Chickens are not fed antibiotics or hormones in accordance with United States law. Have you seen the statements on Tyson chicken products lauding the fact that they don't use growth hormone or antibiotics on their birds? Look closer. They state this on the packaging. They are playing on public fears when in reality, it is not an issue. The cost of providing growth hormones to chickens is absolutely, positively, without a doubt economically unfeasible. It is also completely pointless-- today's broiler takes approximately four weeks to reach market weight. It is unlikely they would, or even could, grown any faster than this, though the fine line between safety and performance is one that is always being researched. Low levels of non-prescription growth promotants with antibiotic properties may be present in subtheraputic levels in the diet-- this is part of the food animal controversy. These tend to promote high growth by minimizing incidence of secondary infection after vaccination or due to parasitism. Birds who are not given any form of preventative treatment often develop life-threatening, painful diseases such as necrotic enteritis-- the British poultry market had a huge upswing in this disease following a ban on feed-added antibiotics.

I think that's all I have to give for today. I'm sure at another time, in another place I will take issue with something else, but for now, I just hope I've helped set the record a little straighter.

Please, please never just settle for biased sources... treat yourself to some research instead!

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